


The Ways We Change

by shitfanficmeup



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abuse, Age Difference, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Detectives, Alternate Universe - Police, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Castiel, Castiel Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Castiel has a shitty life, College, Crime Fighting, Dean Being an Asshole, Dean Winchester is Protective of Castiel, Detective Dean Winchester, Detectives, Domestic Violence, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, Happy Ending, Intern Castiel, Interns & Internships, M/M, Mark of Cain, Oral Sex, Police, Rape, Rape/Non-con Elements, Recreational Drug Use, Serial Killers, Top Dean, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-04-25 07:35:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 27,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14373996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shitfanficmeup/pseuds/shitfanficmeup
Summary: There is a strange serial killer loose in Wichita, Kansas. Homicide detective, Dean Winchester is at a loss of who is committing these murders. At the top of his class, Cas Novak just graduated from Wichita State University as a criminal justice major. The station and the college have an agreement, whoever is the top of their class can intern at the Wichita Police Homicide Unit. When he gets to shadow Detective Winchester, the two men struggle to understand each other and try desperately to solve the case.





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> There is going to be mentions of violence, gore, abusive, non-con, rape, swearing, and murder throughout this fic. If any of this makes you uncomfortable please, please, please do not read. Stay safe xx

“Alright, listen up. This guy has killed seven people in the last 3 weeks. Different ages, ethnicities, jobs, financial statuses, religions. All the bodies have been found in different locations. All with their throats slit and the same mark drawn on their left arms. There is no other connection… find one. Now, get the hell out of my face.” Detective Dean Winchester barked out his orders to the lower level detectives and cops in his jurisdiction before sulking off back to his office.

This case was driving the experienced detective mad. From the first victim, Dean and his team had searched for everything; security cam footage, DNA, fingerprints, anything and everything to catch who would do something like this. Everyone was at a loss; there was no indication of any possible suspect.

Captain Robert Singer came into Dean’s office without knocking, he was the only one who dared to do that, “Real motivational speech there, Winchester.”

Getting lost in the information that is tacked to the large corkboard in his office, Dean bitterly spat out, “I’ll be motivational when there isn’t some fucking killer running around.”

Bobby slapped Dean on his shoulder, the way a father would to an obstinate teenager, “Yeah, well… be motivational now. I’m sticking the intern with you, his name is Castiel Novak.”

Every year, Wichita State University had their top graduate of the Criminal Justice Major and has them intern for the summer at the Wichita police’s Homicide unit. It was usually funny to see the graduate who thought they were hot shit absolutely lose their mind when they got drop kicked into the shark pit.

“Oh, fuck that! No way am I going to babysit some kid!” Dean searched for his coffee mug in the mess of papers and scraps of info that was his office.

Bobby ran a hand through his fading hair, “Dean, please try to play nice. We don’t need a repeat of the last one.”

After he found his usual black mug under a stack of legal books, Dean started to walk towards the squad room to get some coffee. He called over his shoulder to Bobby, “What do you mean?”

“You broke the poor kid!” When Bobby yelled that, everyone in the squad room either nodded their head or laughed, remembering last summer's intern.

With a full mug of coffee, Dean heavily sighed, “Fine. When is he coming?”

Bobby mumbled off-handedly, “Today.”

Throwing his hands up, Dean shook his head. He was hoping for at least one more day of peace and quiet, “Well, fuck me. Fine.”

A little less than two hours later, Dean heard a knock on his office door. Trying to suppress his groan, Dean yelled, “Come in.”

When the fit, but still, small boy with messy black hair, big blue eyes, black jeans and a grey sweater over his white button up walked into his office, Dean actually did groan, “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” Dean's brain supplied his real problem with the intern, ' _Of course, he’s pretty. That’s just my luck.’_

The voice that came out of the kid wasn’t what Dean was expecting from looking at him. It was deep, gravely, and filled Dean's spank bank, “Dean Winchester?”

Composing himself, Dean glared at the boy’s fidgeting form, “That’s what it said on the door, right? And to you, it’s sir.”

Submissively looking down at his converse covered feet, Cas nodded, “Yes, sir.”

Coldly holding out a clipboard, Dean ordered, “Sit. Fill these out.”

Cas carefully took the clipboard and sat in one of the leather chairs in front of Dean’s messy desk.

Not realizing he was outwardly doing so, Dean brooded at Cas, _‘Stupid, pretty intern. He must think he’s so smart.’_

When Cas was done, he looked up from the completed papers. He met Dean’s eyes and tilted his head, clearly confused about why he was being glare at. ‘ _Why is he mad at me? Did I do something wrong?’_ Before he could think about it, Cas blurted out, “I’m sorry, sir.”

Dean was caught off guard by that, “What?”

Again, Cas repeated himself, slightly hesitant this time, “I’m… sorry.”

Still not understanding but dropping it anyway, “Just give me the papers.” Dean snatched them out of Cas’s nimble fingers. After skimming over them, Dean finally made eye contact with Cas again, “Okay, Novak. Here’s how things are going to go; I tell you what to do and you do what I say, when I say it. Got it?”

Not wanting to make Dean any angrier, Cas just nodded, “Yes, sir.”

“Wonderful.” Dean handed Cas a large binder full of cornier reports, autopsy results, police reports, and witness statements, “Familiarize yourself with this information.”

Cas quickly took it, “Yes, sir.”

They sat in silence for a few hours as Cas carefully read everything twice. When he was finally done, he closed the binder and placed it on Dean’s desk.

Barely looking up from his laptop, Dean questioned, “Thoughts?” He hoped that Cas would come up with nothing. He hoped he could yell at him (because he’s an intern… definitely not because he’s so pretty and that’s not fair).

“No connection besides the subway line.”

Dean snapped his head up, “What?”

A curious look spread over Cas’s beautiful features as he tilted his head and looked at Dean with squinted eyes, “They all took the purple line to work every day.”

 _‘This intern has been here for three hours and is already catching shit I haven’t seen?’_  Dean grew angrier by the second, mostly at himself, “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

Cas snapped his head up, his blue eyes looked worried and almost scared as he stumbled over his words, “Y—you’re right, sir. That’s stupid, you probably noticed that already.”

Dean clenched his fists under the table and glared at Cas. _‘Is this kid serious mocking me right now?’_ Dean snarled at his new intern, “Get the fuck out of my office.”

As soon as the words left his mouth, Dean regretted them. Cas looked so hurt as he looked down and slowly stood up, “Yes, sir.”

When Cas was gone, Dean looked into the subway and found that every murder happened almost 30 minutes after the 10 o’clock purple line subway.

As Detective Winchester reevaluated based on the new information, Cas took the purple line home.

He could have moved out years ago. Cas worked hard in college and had enough money saved up from working as a waiter on campus but he still lived with his father, Chuck. The only reason he stayed was that his father needed somebody to talk care of him; he was getting older and drank too much to be able to care for himself. As horrible as he was to Cas, Chuck was still his father and Cas still loved him.

Walking into their old one-story, white house, Cas yelled as usual, “Dad? Are you okay?”

Chuck stumbled into the living room from the kitchen and got in Cas’s face, “Where the fuck have you been?!”

Cas could smell the waves of whiskey coming off of him, “At my internship. I told you about it… I’m sorry, dad. I’ll start dinner, okay?”

“You weren’t out with that disgusting boyfriend of yours?” Chuck slurred his words through his aggressive question.

Quickly trying to defuse the situation, Cas went into the kitchen and started to cook whatever he could find for dinner but Chuck followed him, “Well?”

Speaking in a calm, non-threatening voice, Cas said, “No, James and I aren’t dating anymore.”

Cas hated how happy his dad sounded, “Oh yeah, why?”

“He… cheated on me with some girl.”

Chuck’s loud, sarcastic laugh made Cas’s stomach turn, “Well, at least he smartened up!”

Cas said nothing in reply and turned back to the stove. When he turned around to grab a plate, Cas didn’t realize that Chuck was standing directly behind him. Cas ran into his father, sending his loosely-held glass on whiskey crashing onto the tile floor.

Chuck’s rage filled eyes found Cas’s, “Are you fucking kidding me?”

Before Cas could get the apology out, his father’s harsh fist collided with his cheekbone. Cas ended up on the floor from the force of the punch. With unsteady limbs, Cas tried to scramble to his feet but was knocked back onto the cold floor by his father kicking him in the ribs. Cas cringed as he crawled onto his hands and knees, watching his father grab his keys, “Dad, stop. You can’t drive right now.”

“Well, that was the last of my whiskey so yeah, I’m going out.” His father’s gruff voice tore through the kitchen.

Cas made one more attempt to stand up but was met one last time with his father’s harsh fist. He decided it was best to just lay down and admit defeat. Cas waited for his father until three in the morning. His eyes were heavy with sleep and the pain that radiated from his jaw to his eye socket. His headache pounded deep inside his head and no amount of aspirin seemed to help.

When his father gets home at three, Cas finally manages to get a couple hours of sleep before his alarm blares at six.

Cas groaned and turned it off, closing his eyes for two seconds which quickly turned into fifteen minutes. The next time Cas's eyes opened his phone read 6:17. Cas half-flailed getting out of bed and rushed to throw the first thing he could find on.

Looking especially disheveled, even without the dark bruises plaguing his face, Cas ran into the squad room twenty minutes late. He managed to slam into Chief Singer, who was holding a mug of fresh coffee, in his panic of upsetting Dean by being late. He only spilled a small amount of coffee on the front of Bobby’s old jacket but his panic amplified, “Oh my god, I’m so sorry, sir. I—I didn’t mean to, I’m so sorry—.”

Cas was cut off by Bobby putting a steady hand on his shoulder; pulling the young boy close, he whispered so the many curious eyes staring at them couldn’t hear, “It’s alright, Novak. I’m not going to say anything about you being late but I strongly suggest you step outside and pull yourself together.”

As Cas walked towards the door, Dean, Charlie, the station’s genius I.T girl, Kevin, who worked in evidence, and Sam, Dean’s younger brother and intern to the local D.A all had their eyes trained on him. Dean look a large sip of coffee and sighed heavily, shaking his head at the mess that is his intern, “Great. I get to take the fucking head case to the morgue.”

Charlie, Dean’s red-headed best friend, slapped his arm, “Dean… play nice.”

Rolling his green eyes, Dean walked outside to where Cas went. He found his intern on a bench outside the station with his head hanging low, obviously trying to compose himself.

Dean walked up to him and tapped his shoulder with the back of his hand, “Get up, Novak. We got shit to do.”

Stealing himself, Cas took one more deep breath and heaved himself to his feet, “Yes, sir.”


	2. The Learning

Inside Dean’s Impala, neither Dean or Cas said a word to each other. The silence was definitely awkward between yesterday and this morning, you could cut the tension with a knife.

Now that they’re closer, Dean can easily see the angry bruises on Cas’s otherwise fair skin. The swollen red, purple, and sickly yellow bruise stretched from his left jaw up to his eye and across to his nose. It looked painful and as much as Dean was curious as to how it happened, he decided not to ask. Instead, he thought to himself, _‘Shame his pretty face got messed up.’_

When they got to the morgue a few minutes later, Dean flashed his badge to the receptionist and walked through the double doors into the sterile room. The most recent victim who was killed two nights ago was laid out on the exam table. She was a pregnant woman of twenty-seven years old. She was murdered the same way as the other victims; throat slit and the same mark drawn on her arms. The black ink looked like a backward ‘F’, it was drawn on them so small, it almost looked like a birthmark.

Dean has been on the job for ten years and still, seeing dead bodies—especially pregnant woman got to him, “Really? He’s killing pregnant woman now? This guy is really getting on my nerves.”

As Dean looked over the coroner’s report, Cas gently cleared his throat and spoke to Dean for the first time that day, “Excuse me, sir? Do you think I could see her personal effects?”

Dean handed the young intern the large sealed plastic bag and watched him root through it until he pulled out her wallet. After looking through the small leather wallet, Cas shyly handed Dean the woman’s subway card and ticket receipts for the purple line.

Heavily sighing Dean took them from Cas, “Son of a bitch.” Without missing a beat, Dean pulled out his phone and after a moment started speaking, “Charlie, I need the subway footage from the purple line from last night around 10 pm. Yeah… just grab all of it.”

When they finished at the morgue and were driving back to the station, Dean couldn’t handle the awkward silence anymore, “So… you just graduated college. How was that?”

Cas seemed taken back by the simple, friendly question as he faltered for a minute before answering, “It was fine, sir.”

Dean took his eyes off the road and looked over at Cas who was looking down at his hands in his lap, “Just fine, Novak? Come on, parties, booze, women… that was all just fine?”

“I don’t like to drink and I didn’t go to parties.” Cas kept his answers short, trying not to say anything to upset Dean.

Dean pressed on, “What about women?” The silence that filled the car answered Dean’s questions well enough that he figured out exactly what Cas meant, “Oh… you’re gay?”

Cas fidgeted more with his hands and seemed to withdraw even more, “I… um… look if you’re uncomfortable with that I can leave or not talk to you or—.”

Dean snapped because goddamn it, of course, this kid was gay. That’s just what Dean needed, another reason to want him, “I don’t have an issue with gay people, alright?!” However, Dean doesn’t mention that he’s bi.

“I’m sorry, sir.” Once again, Cas found himself being yelled at and trying to diffuse the situation.

Dean rolled his eyes, “And stop apologizing so much, it’s annoying.” That was mostly true. It was getting on Dean's nerves but he also didn’t want Cas to think he had to apologize for every little thing he did.

“Yes, sir.” Cas clenched his shaking fists. _‘What did I do wrong?’_

Back at the station, Cas and Dean met up with Charlie in her office. Thankfully, she looked like she had good news, “Alright you two, come here and look at this. This…right here—.” Pointing at her screen she gestured at a clearly very pregnant woman walking southbound on the purple line platform, “—that’s the deceased and this… is our new suspect.” She pointed to a tall looking man walking towards the woman on the crowded platform, “Dark hood, purposely avoids cameras, can’t see his face. They cross paths and five seconds later… gone.”

Dean re-watched the footage a few times before scrubbing a hand over his face and sighing, “Alright, forward me and Novak the whole days’ worth of footage, we’ll comb through it.”

Before they left, Charlie handed Cas one of the department’s spare laptops and smiled at him; he tried to return the gesture.  
Back in Dean’s office, they both got comfortable in chairs and started looking through the hours upon hours of footage. The lack of sleep was starting to catch up with Cas as they sat in silence. He felt his eyes start to close and get heavy until Dean sharply kicked his foot, “Novak!” Dean didn’t go too hard on him as he was started to fade as well, “Grab some coffee for us.”

Quickly standing up, Cas stepped out of Dean’s office, leaving the older man to roll his eyes and go back to looking at his screen.

A few minutes later, Cas came back with two mugs of hot black coffee. Dean thanked him with a nod and a slightly softer voice, “You want to be a detective? You need to sleep.”

Cas took a sip of coffee before answering, “Yes, sir.”

For the first time all day, Dean made real eye contact with Cas, “I’m serious. A tired detective is a dead detective and you’re no good to me dead.”

“Yes, sir.”

They both lost track of time looking through the footage. Cas was in his own head as he carefully searched the videos until… “1:32 PM. Camera 9. Left of screen.”

Dean looked up at him then back down to the video to find the moment Cas was talking about, “It’s the victim… so?”

“Look at her steps. Left, right, left, right, then she looks at the small space behind the booth where it’s dark, right, left, right, left. She hesitated.”

Dean re-watched the footage, paying special attention to the victim's feet, “Shit… you’re right. Try to find a camera that looks over there, let's try and see what she was looking at.”

After coming up empty-handed, Dean shut his laptop with a frustrated sigh, “I have to head out early to meet my brother. Why don’t you go home and make sure you get enough sleep?”

They both pack up their stuff and start walking out to the parking lot, when Cas started to walk away from Dean, the detective spoke up, “Where did you park?”

When Cas replied, Dean almost had a fucking stroke at his answer, “I took the subway.”

Yup… that was definitely a stroke. Dean could feel his eye twitch, “I’m sorry, are you fucking kidding me?! We are looking for some fucking crazy subway serial killer and you what? Just don’t care? Are you fucking crazy?!”

Cas looking down at his feet and adjusted his backpack’s strap on his shoulder, “It’s fine, sir.”

Dean couldn’t believe his ears. _‘Does this kid just not care about his well-being?’_. “Don’t be a moron, Novak. Get in the car.”

After hesitating for a moment, Cas climbed into the passenger seat of the Impala. On the ride home, Cas gave Dean careful instructions to his small, white, one story house. When they got there, Chuck is outside. He looked like he’s trying to fix his truck but he also looked drunk. His movements were uncoordinated and messy. Cas whispered under his breath, “Fuck.” Speaking more directly to Dean, he tried to sound unbothered, “Thank you, sir. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Cas jumped out of the car and quickly walked up to his father, “What are you doing? Come inside.”

Chuck wheeled around and roughly shoved Cas by his shoulders, “Get the fuck off of me.”

Cas didn’t falter, he didn’t even seem scared, “Please, it’s okay. Just come with me.” He tried again to put a hand on his father’s shoulder.

Chuck shoved him again, harder this time and stumbled into the house without saying a word. Cas faithfully followed him and prayed that the night didn’t get worse.

From where Dean was sitting in the car watching the scene unfold, he was brooding. Yeah, he wasn’t the nicest guy to his new intern but he wouldn’t lay a hostile hand on him. Since they were already inside, Dean shifted the Impala into gear and drove away. The feeling of guilt spreading inside of his chest. Sure, he was crabby and aggressive at times but nobody should lay a hand on their child. He decided he was going to have to have a chat with Cas about this tomorrow.


	3. The Mistakes

The next day, Dean and Cas picked up where they left off; drinking coffee and searching through security footage. Eventually, Dean looked up at Cas and after admiring his stubble covered jaw, focused blue eyes, and a new bruise on his other cheekbone, he spoke up, “So… buddy—.” That earns Dean a very strange look from Cas, “—how are you today?”

Cas tilted his head and squinted at Dean, trying to read his expression, “I’m okay, sir. How are you?”

Instead of answering Cas’s question, Dean asked one of his own, “Does your father hit you?” Maybe not the smoothest way to bring it up but Dean was never one for subtlety.

Cas looked absolutely shell-shocked, “Sir, all due respect but this seems inappropriately personal.”

After scrubbing a hand over his face, he pushed himself away from his wooden desk and stood up to close his office door, “Look, I can help you—.”

Cas snapped his head up, his whole body stiffening, “I do not need help.”

Wanting to get through to the younger boy, Dean kept pushing, “Cas….”

Surprisingly, Cas pushed back even harder, “No. Just stop, okay? I’m not some poor victim you need to save. I’m fine.”

Dean looked like he was considering pushing further but he dropped it with a heavy sigh, “Alright, fine. Then help me with these files. Alphabetical order, please.” He sat back down at his desk and held out a stack of files and handed them to Cas.

“Yes, sir.” When Cas reached forward to grab them, the sharp twinge in his back from his father kicking them last night. He tried to hide it but it’s Dean’s job to notice small things.

Dean was actively trying to bite his tongue when Charlie stuck her head into his office, “Winchester and company, come here. I need to show you something.”

Both Dean and Cas followed the redhead into her office and watched as she pulled up a traffic cam video, “Okay, so you know how all the vics have the same mark drawn on them? Well, look at this. Some guy was spotted with the same mark tattooed on his forearm.”

Dean’s heart jumped at the possibility of closing in on this disgusting person, “Can you see his face?”

“No. He’s good at hiding.”

Dean started to angrily pace around Charlie’s office before slamming his fist into the wall. While he didn’t see Cas jump and instinctively cover his face, Charlie did. She quickly stood up and grabbed onto Dean’s arm before turning to Cas and trying to smile, “Cas, why don’t you head home for the day?”

Cas hesitantly met Dean’s eyes where all he saw was aggression. He got out of that room as fast as he could.

Charlie rubbed Dean’s tense back, “Dean, come on. Don’t look at this as a missed opportunity. We just have one more piece of evidence.” When Dean didn’t answer her, she pulled him into a hug, “Want to come over and get drunk?”

He answered that, “Hell yeah.”

Sure enough around nine o’clock that night, Dean and Charlie were plenty drunk and only getting drunker. Dean slumped on Charlie’s couch, “Hey, hey. Do me a favor? Look up my intern.”

Charlie finished the greasy piece of pizza she was shoving in her face before wiping her hands and typing away on her laptop. Her pretty green eyes lit up as she threw up her hands in celebration, “Found some info! Let’s see… Castiel Novak, Wichita State. Graduated with a 4.3 GPA, top of his class but we already knew that.” After some more searching and scrolling, Charlie read, “No siblings. His mother died 14 years ago…oh shit… she was murdered.”

Dean’s buzz quickly went to shit, “Guess that’s why he wants to be a detective.” _‘Son of a bitch. This kid’s life is a shit show.’_

“Oh, shit dude. Get this, his dad was a cop.” Charlie looked heartbroken but Dean didn’t quite understand why.

“Okay… and?” That earned him a slap on the back of his head from Charlie who now just looked disappointed.

“You call yourself a detective. Use your brain! He was a cop, his wife got murdered, the case went unsolved, he quote-unquote retired, then started racking up charges of his own. I mean, domestic abuse, assault, two D.U.Is, assault, a fucking hit and run, more domestic abuse—.”

Dean felt sick to his stomach as Charlie read out his laundry list of convictions. He didn’t want to hear how many times his sweet intern’s dad got busted for abuse… or think about how many times he didn’t. “Okay, Charlie. I get it.”

Hating everything he was hearing, Dean did what he does and drowned his sorrows in alcohol. When both he and Charlie were good and drunk, the word vomit started to spew out of Dean, “Hey, Charlie… you know Cas is gay? God, he’s so pretty. It’s not fair.”

Charlie wrapped a blanket around the both of them and rested her head on his shoulder, soothingly stroking his cheek, “My poor gay babies… so sad.”

Dean was sad. He was sad he wanted Cas, sad he was alone, sad Cas was hurting but more than that, Dean was angry. Angry at himself, angry at Cas’s father, angry with this stupid case. He just wanted to get drunk and sleep for a few hundred years.

Unfortunately, he didn’t get to sleep long until his phone was buzzing from the coffee table. Dean didn’t bother to look at the caller I.D before answering with a groan, “Urgghh, what?”

What Dean didn’t expect to hear was the shaking tone of Cas’s voice, “Sir, it’s Cas. I know it’s late, I’m really sorry but I’m taking the subway home and… I think somebody is following me. I don’t know what to do.”

Dean was awake in two seconds, “Where are you?” He started to pull on jeans and his usual jacket. When Cas didn’t answer Dean’s panic increased, “Cas? You still with me?”

“I—I'm sorry. W—west side of station nine.” Cas sounded nervous and breathless and that’s exactly how Dean felt as he ran out of Charlie’s apartment out to the Impala.

“Okay, Novak. You’re okay, alright? Keep walking, do not stop. I’ll be there in a minute.” Trying his best to keep Cas calm, Dean was doing the opposite by working himself into a panic. Things weren’t bad until Dean heard screaming. Cas’s deep voice yelled for somebody to get off of him then the line went silent. Dean stepped harder on the gas and yelled into the phone, “CAS?!”

When Dean pulled up into the front of subway station, the image of Cas’s throat slit and him bleeding out, willed his feet to run faster down the stairs with his gun drawn. His green eyes frantically searched for Cas until he heard the scuffling.

He saw Cas and another guy in a black hoodie wrestling on the platform with a transit cop trying to pull them apart. Dean quickly put his gun away and shoved the assailant off of Cas before helping up his bloody intern. Dean held onto his shoulders and looked him over, “Are you okay? What the hell happened?”

Cas is physically shaking; from anger or fear, Dean can’t tell, “I’m fine. Check his arm.”

Dean leaves Cas and walks back over to where the cop was interrogating the assailant and rolls his sleeves up without saying a word and neither of them have a tattoo. Turns out, the guy was just trying to rob Cas, not kill him.

Dean basically drags Cas to the Impala, “What were you fucking thinking?! Why would you take the subway this late at night?!”

Cas wiped the blood off his nose with his sleeve, “I had to go home.”

Dean slammed on the breaks and growled at Cas; the worry in his chest quickly turning to anger, “Then take a taxi!”

Surprisingly, Cas grit his teeth back at Dean and got in his face, “I can take care of myself!”

Scoffing, Dean rolled his eyes and make fun of Cas, “Sure, that’s why you called me.”

Cas’s blue eyes were dark as they stared back at Dean, “Next time I won’t.”

Sitting on the side of the road in the middle of the night, bitterly spitting out hurtful words is not how Dean wanted to talk with Cas but he couldn’t stop. He grabbed two handfuls of Cas’s jacket and spoke dangerously low, “Do not call me, do not speak out of turn, do not do stupid shit that I specifically tell you not to do!”

Cas’s eyes went from a destructive thunderstorm to fog in seconds. He stopped standing up for himself and that hurt Dean more than any insult Cas could have said. All he got in return wasn’t more screaming. It was a meek and quiet, “Yes, sir.”

Dean drops the front of Cas’s jacket. He silently put the Impala into drive and without saying another word or even looking at Cas, Dean drove him home.  
When he stopped in front of the house, Cas quietly said, “I apologize for calling you. It won’t happen again, sir.”

As soon as Cas was out of the car, Dean smacked his forehead off the steering wheel and internally criticized himself, “Sure, Dean… yell at the abused intern who is exponentially smarter than you are all because you have weird feelings and are a stupid dumb idiotic moron.”

After sending a text to Charlie that he was alive, Dean decided to go home and try to get some sleep. His house smelt like summer air and familiar comfort. As much as he loved his own bed, laying alone every night was Dean’s least favorite part of the day. He tried to deny it but he was lonely.

Much to Dean’s dismay, his cock was hard and leaking against his stomach, “What do you want?!” He groaned and shifted in bed, trying to get comfortable, “No, I’m not doing this. I’m going to bed.”

All efforts to relax against his soft sheets were destroyed by his painfully hard cock. After another few minutes of trying to fight it, Dean bitterly took himself into his hand and muttered, “Stupid dick. Stupid night. Stupid self. Stupid intern and his stupid fucking blue eyes and stupid fucking lips and stupid body and—fuck…” He tried to stifle a moan as his thoughts roamed to Cas’s body; his slender hips and elegant hands, his crystal blue eyes and his perfect ass. He thought about how amazing Cas would feel pressed against Dean.

Dean’s hand quickly stroked himself and gently twisted his fist at the head of his leaking cock. The tight feeling in his stomach had a vice-like grip on him. When Dean’s thoughts roamed to how Cas would arch his back and cum across his stomach with Dean’s name on his lips, Dean came hard enough that a strangled moan escaped from deep in his throat. Dean was horrified when he let Cas’s name slip out as came into his fist.

The guilt quickly set in about how he just masturbated to his intern that is eleven years younger than Dean, only being twenty-one. But more than that, Dean felt guilty about how he has treated Cas so far. Things needed to change.


	4. The Choices

Dean woke up later than usual the next day, needing a few extra hours of sleep after the events of last night. Thankfully, he didn’t have work the next day. He did, however, have to meet up with Sam. Dean didn’t mind having to get up to see Sammy; between their two very hectic schedules, the two brothers barely had time to see each other.

Strolling into their usual diner, Dean waved at his little brother who was already sitting in a booth with his papers strewn across the table.

Dean barely had a chance to sit before Sam started to explain the seemingly haphazard files and reports in front of him, “I was looking over this information and I think when this case goes to trial, we are going to have a really good shot at getting this guy locked up.”

Dean chuckled and waved over the pretty blonde waitress, “Sammy, we need to catch the guy first.”

When the waitress came over, she smiled at the two brothers, “Hey, what can I get for you?”

Dean ordered his usual two slices of pie, one cherry and one apple along with a coffee. Sam ordered a grilled chicken sandwich and a water, knowing full-well that Dean would give him shit about eating ‘rabbit food’.

Once their waitress, Jessica, walked away Sam went back to ranting about the case. Eventually, he stopped when he saw the blank look in Dean’s eyes, “Dude, are you even listening?”

“Yeah, totally.” No, he wasn’t. Dean’s thoughts were roaming from Cas to pie and back. One issue was resolved when Jessica came back with their orders.

Sam threw one of his sweet potato fries at Dean’s face, “No, you’re not. What’s up?”

“Nothing.” _‘Everything. My intern is amazing and deserves so much more than he’s gotten but I’ve done nothing but make things worse.’_

Sam saw right through Dean’s answer, “You’re my big brother. I’ve looked up to you my entire life, I know your guilty face so come on, what did you do?”

Dean groaned because of course, Sam wasn’t going to drop this, “I snapped at my intern…”

The daggers Sam shot at Dean only made his guilt worse, “Again?!”

“Will everyone stop bringing that up?” Dean angrily ate a large bite of his cherry pie and looked grumpily out the window, “This wasn’t like that. He called me at the ass crack of dawn and was in the subway with some guy following him. I think he thought it was the guy we’re looking for.”

Sam looked up from his sandwich and with his mouth half-full, skeptically asked Dean, “You did go and get him, right? Or at least call somebody?”

Dean looked almost offended, “Of course, I did! I drove there as fast as I could and it was just some robber but I sort of snapped at him for being stupid and taking the subway so late at night.”

“And now you feel bad about yelling?” Sam didn’t offer any advice because he knew that’s not what his older brother needed. He knew Dean just needed to get it out and talk to somebody about it so instead, Sam nodded as they finished their lunch in a familiar comfortable silence.

The two brothers said goodbye and made plans to meet up soon, Dean was walking to his car when his phone rang. Looking at the caller I.D, his phone read, ‘Novak.’ Dean hated the part of him that was excited that Cas was calling but even more than that, he hated the part of him that was annoyed he was calling. Groaning, Dean answered the phone, “Novak, what did I tell you about calling me?”

What Dean didn’t expect to hear was his best friend’s voice instead of Cas’s deep one, “Um… it’s Charlie. My phone shit itself so Cas let me borrow his. He stopped by the station to help me and we found something.”

Dean turned the key to the Impala as her engine roared to life, “Be there in ten.” As he drove to the station, Dean let the familiar feeling of his Impala soothe his harsh mood.

When he got there, he didn’t stop until he got to Charlie’s office. Stepping into her office, he shut the door behind him and gave her a side hug from her chair, “Hey, Charlie. Where’s Novak?” _‘Not that I care or anything…’_

She looked up at him with a knowing look, “He left… what did you tell him about calling you?”

Dean’s guilty face came back for the second time that day even as he tried to brush off her question, “Don’t worry about it. So, what did you find?”

Charlie beamed with pride when she talked about Dean’s intern, “It was Cas, he found something on our suspect. He called every tattoo parlor in the area and after asking around, he found the artist that tattooed our suspect. Some guy named Zeke, he owns a shop on thirty-second street.”

Dean couldn’t help but be impressed, “Kid’s fucking smart.”

Before they could continue their conversation, Dean’s phone rang. Another body was found. He ran a hand through his short hair and turned back to Charlie after hanging up, “Another vic, father of four. The body was found near the Industrial Park. Look at the cams for me?”

Dean sent a quick text to Cas, breaking his own rule, ‘Another body dropped. I’ll be by in ten.’

Not that Dean cared but he still didn’t have an answer by the time he pulled up to Cas’s house. He honked once then twice, still no answer.

Dean rolled his eyes and grouchily got out of the car. He walked up the front door and harshly knocked three times, “Novak! Let’s go!” No answer. Then, Dean tried the doorknob and it was… unlocked? He called out into the seemingly empty house, “Hello?”

He couldn’t help but notice the empty beer cans and whiskey bottles, the broken picture frames, and glass, “Novak?” Dean stepped through to the kitchen and found Cas shirtless and bleeding from a cut on his temple on the kitchen floor. He quickly ran to Cas’s side and gently shook his shoulder, “Cas? Hey, are you okay?”

Cas slowly woke up with a pained look on his face, “Dea—Yes, sir. I’m okay. What are you doing here?”

“There’s another body…” Dean didn’t want to talk about the case or other victims. He wanted to talk about Cas, about what happened but he was distracted by Cas’s pale skin, his lithe body, his muscles, and smooth skin stretched over bone, the tattoo that looked like some foreign language splayed over his left side.

Cas’s pained voice snapped him out of his thoughts, “I’ll be ready in one second.” He heaved himself up and started to walk away from Dean, towards his room.

That’s when Dean saw Cas’s back. The messy patchwork of purple, green, and yellow littered his back as evidence of long nights and bitter fights; along with horrible raised streaks, some new and bright red and others a fading white, they looked like harsh belt marks. It took Dean a minute to find his breath to be able to talk, “Cas… what—”

“No, we aren’t having this conversation. I’ll be back in a second, sir.” Cas walked to his room, kicking himself for not putting a shirt on when he woke up. He didn’t want Dean to feel bad for him. As much as Dean could be an asshole, he was gorgeous and it killed Cas; he wanted to make Dean happy. He wanted his superior to like him and not just as a boss but as a friend.

When Cas came back out of his room with a t-shirt on, he saw Dean looking at a picture of Cas’s mother, Naomi. She was a pretty woman with kind eyes and a gentle soul, “Is this your mom?”

Now, Cas was conflicted. He was professional and Dean wanted to talk about personal things, he talked about personal life and Dean got angry. His frustration started to come out as tears but he pushed them down the best he could, “Sir, you wanted to keep things between us professional and I’m trying to.”

Shockingly enough, they both seemed disappointed by that. Without saying another word to each other, Dean and Cas drove to the morgue to find that the newest victim was the same as the others. Back in the Impala, Dean finally spoke to Cas again, “Charlie told me you found the tattoo artist. Let’s go talk to him.”

At the small hole-in-the-wall shop on thirty-second street, Dean and Cas strolled in and walked up to the front counter. The rock music playing and the cheap lighting seemed almost stereotypical of a tattoo shop. Approaching a similarly aged brunette man in dark jeans an hoodie, Dean was the one who led the conversation by holding up a picture of the suspect's tattoo, “Hey, pal. Any chance this is one of yours?”

The artist's smirk drove Dean berserk, “Don’t know, can’t give out client info.”

Dean put the photo on the desk before turning around and giving Cas a pained smile. Dean gently put a hand on Cas’s chest, moving him backward a few steps. Then, without warning, Dean turned towards the artist, Zeke, and slammed his fist into the smirk that was still on Zeke’s face.

Dean grabbed Zeke’s collar and got into his face, snarling out his command, “Listen to me. You will tell me who you tattooed this on or you'll be shitting out your own teeth.”

Zeke, who was a lot weaker than he looked, instantly gave up what Dean wanted to know, “Okay! Okay! Jesus… chill out. His name was Cain. No last name. Paid cash.”

Dean rolled his eyes and dropped Zeke’s shirt, grabbed his picture, and led Cas back out to the Impala. What he didn’t notice was Cas’s situation growing in his pants because Dean moving Cas out of the way to protect him was hot... no other way to say it.

When they were seated in Dean’s car, Dean ran a stressed hand over his face, “Alright… we’re never going to catch him this way.”

Cas wanted to help Dean, he would do anything that was asked of him, “What do you suggest?”

Cas soon found out what Dean had in mind when they got back to the station and had a meeting with Jody Mills, the local D.A, Sam, Charlie, Kevin, and Bobby. They all decided on setting a trap and the for the bait?... Cas.

“It will be a good learning experience.” Everyone agreed with that and of course, wanting to make Dean happy, Cas agreed.


	5. The Worst Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has graphic descriptions of rape, torture, and violence. If that is triggering to you please do not read! I will put a less graphic summary of the events in the notes at the end of the chapter.

After filling out all the necessary paperwork, Dean, Cas, Charlie, Kevin, and Bobby all piled into an unmarked black van and parked in front of the subway station. His superiors quickly briefed Cas and fitted him with a wire and an earpiece.

Every day for a week, Cas ventured into the subway and walked around, with direction from Charlie and Dean. Kevin and Charlie carefully kept the security cameras trained on Cas as he strolled through the many stops of the Purple Line.

“Hey, Novak. See anything?” Dean spoke through the microphone that was connected to Cas’s earpiece.

Cas slightly shook his head, knowing that they could see him no matter where he was.

Charlie was the next one to ask a question, “Are you hungry? Kev’s making a sandwich run?”

Again, Cas shook his head. He was far too nervous to eat. He could catch this horrible person, he could stop innocent people from being murdered, he couldn’t take a break to eat.

Again, they came up empty-handed by midnight so they decided to pack it in for the night. The next day, the team was back in position when Cas made eye contact with the closest camera after strolling by one of the vacant, old ticket booths.

“What is it?” Dean questioned the almost panicked look on Cas’s face, genuinely worried for his well-being. The bitch face Cas sent him back at the question because it wasn’t yes or no was pretty funny, Dean couldn’t help but chuckled, “Sorry, do you think it’s him?”

Cas nodded his head, his nervousness was evident in his body language. As he started to walk away, listening to what Bobby was telling him, “Get on the subway and we’ll meet you at the next stop, okay?”

Cas quickly walked onto the nearest subway car and met the van at the next stop, as instructed. He knocked three times, signaling that it was him. Dean handed Cas a cool water bottle and offered him a supportive smile. _‘He looks really nervous… maybe this was a mistake.’_

Dean was about to ask if Cas was sure he wanted to finish this but Bobby beat him to it, “You sure you’re okay out there?”

Cas’s voice didn’t hesitate but the fear in his eyes contradicted him, “Yes, sir.”

But Bobby didn’t see what Dean did, “Good. Now, we have to catch him so you’ll take the ten o’clock train back. Stop and get something out of your backpack, okay?”

Cas tried to look fearless and brave but his hands wouldn’t stop shaking so Dean put a warm hand on his hoodie-covered sweatshirt, “You got this, Novak.”

Carefully following instructions, Cas stepped onto the ten o’clock purple line, heading back toward the platform where he saw the suspect. His heart was thumping in his chest with every step he took. He made his way through the still-crowded subway, keeping his eyes open for any suspicious activity. Until it happened…

Cas felt a large hand wrap around his bicep and harshly pull him behind the booth, the suspect's hand flew over his mouth before Cas could scream or say anything.

“Um… guys?” Charlie and Kevin desperately flipped through the cameras. Charlie’s heart felt like it was beating in her throat, “I can’t see him!”

Cain held a large, sharp, curved knife to Cas’s small throat. His blue-green eyes were full of thunder and hate. His grey beard and waved hair were trapped under the hood of his coat, “Beg for your life.” His voice was like a demon trapped in a man; anger and loathing seeped from him.

Cas took a deep breath and even though it was muffled, he managed to answer, “No.”

“Fuck!” Bobby got onto the radio and sent out the command to the other awaiting officers, “Go now!”

Cain pulled Cas down the dark, empty hallway with what felt like a gun pressed to Cas’s back, “Walk quietly with your head down.”

Cas does exactly what he’s told, his faith in the team still strong. Cas blanked out a lot of the walk to the abandoned factory that sat stagnant, two blocks down the road.

Dean was ten steps ahead of the rest of the department with his gun drawn as they ran through the subway. He was the first one to reach the ticket booth but only to find it empty, “…They’re gone.” Dean frantically turned to Bobby, “They’re gone… he’s gone.” _‘Gonegonegonegonegone. Find him. This is your fault. If he’s dead, it’s on you.’_

Bobby radioed back to the van, “Charlie, get on the traffic cams. Find him now!”

The first time Cas felt the blade puncture his skin, the pain was overwhelming. It overrode the stink of the factory’s first floor, the feeling of the damp floor and drip of the pipes, the sound of the cars so close but endlessly far away.

Cain roughly grabbed Cas’s throat and squeezed as he snarled at him, “Beg, you little slut.”

Cas mustered up all the courage he had and spat back at the monster standing over him, “Go fuck yourself.”

“Very well then.” Cain didn’t hesitate or flinch, he wasn’t angry or distressed but he was eerily calm as he sliced into Cas over and over again. From his neck to his chest to his arms and down to his legs he was covered in blood; blood that was quickly draining from his veins. “You ready yet?”

Cas could barely register the deep voice flooding into his ears but he still whimpered, “No.” Over and over, Cas denied his attacker until he felt Cain grab his ass. Cas seemed to snap out of the daze the blood loss put him in. _‘Do something. Sit up. Move. Fight. Scream. DO SOMETHING.’_

Nothing happened but Cain’s disgusting hands tugging down Cas’s jeans, a cursed, poisonous touch groping over him. With one hand on Cas’s hips pinning him down and one hand tightly wrapped around his throat, “Well… are you going to give me what I want? Come on, beg for your life like the good little slut you are.”

When Cain’s grip on his throat tightened, Cas managed to sob out, “Please! Stop! I’m sorry… just stop! Please, don’t!”

Cas felt nothing but sharp, debilitating pain as Cain forced himself into Cas. Cain pinned Cas down and roughly fucked him. Everything was a blur or pain; unable to see through his tears or a red film over his eyes. Blood. His blood. Bleeding. He’s alive. Stay alive. _‘Stay alive.’_

Cas didn’t fight, he just grit his teeth and waited for Cain to stop, waited to be alone, waited for everything to stop.

He has no idea how long it was until he felt his pants being half put on him and his weak body hit a wall, his hands bound behind his back, duct tape over his mouth, and those hands; those horrible hands grab his face, “You know, I was going to kill you but… keeping you alive. Now that... is the most beautiful torture.” And Cas was alone.

The team was in a full-force panic doing anything and everything they could to find Cas when Charlie jumped up, “I found him! Abandoned factory on thirty-sixth street!” She had been desperately searching for any sign of the intern or the older man with him, when she saw them walking away from the factory, time-stamped ten-fifteen. It was eleven now.

Dean’s running footsteps were the first thing Cas heard. He was woozy and everything spun around him but Dean’s hand on his shoulder was firm and real, Dean’s voice was clear through the pain, “Cas? Okay, stay with me. You’re okay, you’re going to be fine. I’m here… BOBBY! HURRY!”

The next thing to shock Cas was the feeling of the blood-soaked duct-tape being ripped off his mouth. Everything went black as his head fell forward onto Dean’s shoulder.

Dean’s hands found the deepest wound and kept pressure on it as Bobby called an ambulance. What seemed like forever later, Dean lifted Cas up onto the stretcher. Cas’s clothes were covered in blood, his skin covered in cuts and bruises, his hand has limp in Dean’s.

Dean refused to let go even as they put an I.V and blood into his arm, an oxygen mask on his face, and heart monitor sensors on his chest. He turned back to Bobby, who looked just as devastated as Dean, “I’m going to the hospital with him. Find the son of a bitch.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cas is kidnapped and taken to a factory by Cain where he is told to beg for his life. When Cas refuses, Cain tortures and rapes him until he does beg for his life. Dean and the rest of the team find him and Dean goes with him to the hospital


	6. The Healing

Charlie followed Cain’s dark figure across the city to a normal looking ranch house. It was a small white home with a well-groomed lawn and a fresh coat of paint on the shutters. But inside, a monster stood with blood splattered clothes and a cold look in his eye. 

Quickly informing the police as to Cain’s location, Charlie grabbed her jacket and drove to the hospital to tell Dean what was going on. 

Back in the Emergency Room, Cas was sitting on a hospital bed with wide eyes and tense muscles. He was quickly losing blood but still fighting every nurse and doctor who tried to touch him. His wavering voice filled the small trauma bay, “Please, don’t hurt me. Please… stop.” 

A kind, brunette nurse tried to speak calmly and out a reassuring hand on Cas’s shoulder, “We aren’t going to hurt you but you need to lay back.” 

As soon as her hand made contact with Cas, he harshly shoved her backward. As another nurse tried to help her up, the doctor and another nurse nodded at each other before grabbing wrist restraints. 

Dean who was standing completely shocked in the corner of the room, jumped in front of the doctor, “Wait, no. You’re going to make it worse.” 

“Sir, please. He is a danger to himself and others, stand back.” The older male doctor was obviously trying to placate Dean and the detective was having none of it. 

Standing up a little straighter, Dean steeled himself, “Let me help him.” 

Reluctantly the doctor agreed and stepped back so Dean could walk towards the bed. He sat at the foot of the bed and spoke softly to Cas, without touching him, “Cas, it’s Dean. Listen to me, nobody is going to hurt you, okay? You need to let the doctors help you.” 

Surprisingly, instead of pulling away from Dean, Cas latched himself onto his arm, “Don’t let them hurt me.” 

Dean quickly moved so he was next to Cas and wrapped a strong arm around Cas’s shaking shoulders, “I’m here. Nobody is going to hurt you. The doctor is going to give you a sedative and they’re going to help you.” 

Cas nodded and buried his face into Dean’s neck as the nurse carefully injected him with the sedative. As soon as Cas was out, Dean was pulled away from him so the medical staff could start to treat him. They quickly determined he was going to need surgery for the stab wound on his stomach and many stitches for the gashes that covered his body. 

Dean was left standing in the empty room until the same nurse Cas shoved earlier came in to check on him, “Sir, are you okay?”

He couldn’t form the words to answer her. Dean just stood in place, his eyes full of rage. Cas was hurt. This disgusting human who had taken so many lives had hurt Cas. He started to quickly walk outside to try and catch a cab but was greeted by Charlie who was running through the Emergency Room door. She ran up to Dean and put her small hands on his shoulders, “Dean, what’s going on? Where’s Cas? Is he okay?” 

The words seemed wrong coming out, “He’s in surgery. He lost a lot of blood and is… not okay.”

Charlie’s heart broke and it was obvious she was feeling just as guilty as Dean, “We found Cain. He was arrested for multiple counts of murder, kidnapping, and attempted murder.”

Dean started to walk outside with his best friend following him, “I need to go see this piece of shit.” 

As Charlie drove them to the station, Dean’s mind raced with thoughts of hurt blue eyes and blood-stained skin. By the time they were there, Dean was ready to shed a little blood of his own. He cocked his handgun and stormed into the station. Running through the doors, he reached the outside of the interrogation room where Bobby, Sam, and Kevin were waiting, “Where the fuck is this asshole?!”

Kevin and Sam grabbed his arms and tried to stop him while Bobby grabbed his gun and tore it away from him, “Settle down! Give me the gun now!” 

Dean did give Bobby his gun but he tore away from Kevin and Sam’s grip, “Do you have any idea what he did to Cas?!”

Charlie took Dean’s had to try and calm him down while Bobby walked into the interrogation room.

Cain sat still, the only part of him moving were his fingers steadily drumming on the metal table. Bobby stood on the other side of the table, “We’ve been looking for you.” 

Cain didn’t seem bothered by that at all, “Oh, have you?”

Bobby placed files and pictures of all the victims on the table and sat down, “Why did you do it?”

Cain snarled at him, “What can I say? I love to hear people beg for their lives. People are so clueless, they see somebody and just pass them by well, I’m not somebody you want to forget.” The end of his confession was finished with a smirk that made Bobby’s stomach twist.

“Tell me… what’s the difference between the boy from tonight and the others?” Dean perked up when he heard Bobby ask that.

Cain grinned wickedly, “He didn’t beg until he lost enough blood. I had to make him suffer just to hear his pretty little cries. Let me tell you… boy, did he beg once I was in him. You should have heard how he whimpered. That was one tight ass and how his blood flowed out of him with his heartbeat… mmhmm.” 

The nausea hit everybody. Cain raped Cas. He tortured him. Bobby couldn’t be in the same room with him anymore; he left and slammed the door behind him. 

Dean was pacing and pulling at his short hair, “WE did this! He should never have been in that position!” Without another word to his colleagues, Dean walked out of the building and didn’t bother to look back. He didn’t want to see weapons, handcuffs, paperwork, criminals or other officers; he wanted to go to Cas. Dean wanted to make sure Cas was okay, he wanted to take care of him, to fix the horrible mistake he made. 

It was approaching one in the morning when Dean drove back to the hospital, his blood still quickly pumped adrenaline through him. When he got there and approached the front desk, he was greeted by a very tired looking nurse, “Excuse me, I’m looking for Castiel Novak.”

She barely looked up from her computer and answered in a bored tone, “Visiting hours are over.”

Dean was going to snap, he could feel his anger and frustration reaching the boiling point. He dug his nails into his palm, “Could you please tell me if he is out of surgery yet?” When she looked up at him, Dean tried to flash her a charismatic smile, “Please… I’m worried about him.”

She heavily sighed and Dean didn’t miss the eye roll as she checked the computer, “He’s still in surgery. Why don’t you go sit in the waiting room and the doctor will come update you when they’re done.”

Wanting to slam his fist into a wall, Dean decided to walk away before he did something he would regret. 

It wasn’t until two-thirty in the morning when the doctor finally came into the waiting room to talk to Dean. Since Dean was the only one in there, it wasn’t hard to tell who he was waiting for, “Hello, are you Castiel Novak’s family?”

Dean quickly stood up and met the doctor with a handshake, “I work with him. Is he okay?”

“He’s out of the woods for now. He did lose quite a lot of blood but we’ve stabilized him. The knife did cause some damage to his liver causing us to have to resect part of it. As of right now, we are focused on avoiding infection.” The doctor tried to offer Dean some comfort but it was obvious nothing was getting through to him, “Sir, why don’t you go home and get some rest? Come back in the morning?” 

“It is the morning. I’m staying.” Dean closed his eyes and slouched down in the uncomfortable waiting room chair. He sighed and waited for the doctor’s footsteps to depart. 

After a long, exhausting day, Dean fell asleep faster than he thought he would and didn’t wake up until Bobby shook his shoulder the next morning, “Dean? Come on, son. Wake up.”

Dean woke up with a start, “Bobby, where’s Cas? Is he okay?”

Trying to calm down the detective he saw as a son, Bobby handed him the cup of coffee he was holding, “I asked a nurse, she said he was okay. Visiting hours just opened if you wanted to see him.”

Before they could leave the waiting room, the same doctor from last night approached them, “Hello, just so you’re aware, we did have to give Castiel a bit more sedation so, between that and the morphine, he’s a little out of it. He consented to you being his emergency contact instead of a parent so I should inform you that we did a rape kit and we did find evidence of assault.”

Dean felt his stomach lurch and twist horribly in his gut. He needed to see Cas, right now, “Can I please see him?”

The doctor lead both Dean and Bobby down the hall but stopped when he got to Cas’s room, “Perhaps just Dean should go in? He’s been asking for you since he woke up.”

Bobby nodded in agreement before finding a seat in the hallway while Dean slowly cracked the door to Cas’s room, “Hey, Cas… it’s me.”

The sight in front of him broke Dean’s heart. Cas was curled up on the bed with an I.V in his arm and an oxygen cannula in his nose, bandages covering his body and stitches on his face. He had tears in his eyes and his hands were shaking as he looked up towards the door, “Dean? Can you please shut the door?”

Dean complied and gently shut the door so it didn’t close too loud, “Is it okay if I come sit with you?”

Cas nodded and relaxed a little once Dean was sitting in the chair next to his bed, “You doing okay?”

Cas kept his head down, refusing to make eye contact with Dean, “No.” He started scratching at the I.V in his arm and seemed like he was trying to take it out.

“Don’t scratch at that.” Dean tried to speak softly, not to upset Cas.

Cas did stop scratching for a minute but after another minute of silence, he grabbed the I.V tube and tore it out of his arm. 

Dean jumped at the sudden movement, “Jesus, Cas! Don’t do that!”

Cas was sobbing as Dean pressed the call button to the nurse’s station, “I don’t want to be here.”

Dean sat on the bed and wrapped his arm around Cas, “I know you don’t but you can’t do that, you’re going to hurt yourself.”  
The nurse quickly came into the room and when she approached Cas he clung to Dean with shaky hands and pleaded in a wavering voice, “Please, don’t let them hurt me.” 

Dean slowly rubbed Cas’s back in warm circles, “Shhh, I’m not going to let anyone hurt you. You’re safe with me. Just relax, let the nurse fix your I.V.” 

Being close to Cas felt right, even though it broke Dean’s heart to see him so upset. He wanted to hold Cas and take away the pain he was feeling. And when Cas looked at Dean with those big blue eyes and asked him to stay, Dean knew he wasn’t going anywhere.

As soon as Cas had a new I.V, the nurse increased his morphine drip and left the room. Dean stayed on the bed with Cas, but dropped his arm when Cas started to squirm and get uncomfortable, “Do you want me to go?”

“No.”

“Do you want me to go sit back in the chair?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, Cas. Whatever you need.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are going to start getting a little better... I promise.


	7. The Bonding

Over the next week, Dean barely left Cas’s side as his injuries started to heal. Cas slept a lot of the time but when he was awake, he and Dean talked. Sometimes they talked about how Cas was feeling or work but most of the time they would talk about the little things.

Dean sipped on his coffee before looking up from his newspaper, “Oh! What’s your favorite color?”

Cas snuggled his face closer into his pillow, “Orange.”

Dean made a disgusted face, “Really… orange? Dude, that’s gross.” He didn’t mean it, he was just poking fun at Cas. Truthfully, anything Cas liked, Dean wanted to like too.

“No, it’s not. It’s the color of fall. But fine… what’s yours?” When Cas looked at Dean from his pillow, Dean knew his answer.

“Easy… blue. Like the ocean.” _‘And your eyes.’_ Dean smiled at Cas, his chest felt fuzzy looking at Cas’s sleepy face, “You tired?”

Cas mumbled into his pillow and let his eyes close. Dean smiled to himself and went back to reading his paper. Only looking up again when Cas started crying twenty minutes later. Dean dropped the newspaper and walked over to the bed, sitting on the edge of it he gently rubbed Cas’s shoulder, “Hey, what’s going on?”

“I want it to stop. Everything… I want it to stop.” The pain, the dehumanization, the fear, the anger… it was all just too much.

Dean’s eyes traced over Cas’s bed hair, his bloodshot eyes, his sharp jawline, his thin neck and shoulders, “Oh, Cas… I’m so sorry this happened to you. What can I do to help you?”

After a few deep breaths, Cas finally looked back at Dean, “Tell me your happiest memory?”

Dean smiled because he could definitely do that, “The day my mom, dad, me and Sammy all went to the beach. We got hot dogs and ice cream and some seagull stole Sammy’s hotdog and he was so pissy, it was hilarious. We walked around the rest of the day and did all the normal beach stuff. You know, sand castles, finding sea glass, climbing rocks, getting sunburnt. It was just a perfect day. What’s yours?”

At this point, Cas wasn’t crying anymore. He had a smile on his face that Dean hadn’t seen before, “My mom and I went to this tiny little hotel in Vermont and we got stuck there during a snow storm and she and I ate ramen and watched Gilmore Girls all week.”

Dean was still sitting on the edge of the bed, realizing now that Cas had managed to curl himself around Dean with his thighs against one of Dean’s and his head still snuggled into his pillow, “You miss her, huh?”

“Yeah… she was the best.” Cas looked like he was on the verge of tears again. Thinking about his mother wasn’t something Cas did a lot. It was too hard to think about her dying alone in that empty, dark parking lot; “A robbery gone wrong” is what the police told them.

Dean’s warm hand on his shoulder snapped Cas out of his thoughts, “Cas… “I need to apologize for how awful I’ve treated you. I shouldn’t have spoken to you how I did but I shouldn’t have put you in the position to get hurt. I’ll be better, do you think you could give me a chance?”

Cas’s low whisper of, “Yes, sir.” Made Dean cringe. He didn’t want to be ‘sir. He wanted to be Cas’s friend… and more.

Cas chimed up again, trying to distract both of them, “What’s your favorite hobby?”

With a serious face, Dean answered, “Work.”

The smile Cas gave him made his heart skip a beat, “That’s not a hobby.”

“Fine, what’s yours?”

Cas’s cheeks turned a light pink, “…you’ll make fun of me.”

Dean gently shook Cas’s shoulder, “Oh, now I’m curious… come on, tell me. Pretty please.”

Cas couldn’t say no to Dean’s shining green eyes, “…I like to do yoga…”

Before Dean could answer, the doctor came in holding a clipboard with many forms on it, “Alright, Mr. Novak. These are your discharge papers. Make sure you read everything and take home the instructions. It’s important you take the antibiotics and painkillers as directed and get plenty of rest.”

When the doctor was gone, Dean helped Cas pack up the few things he had in his room, “So, you going home?”

Cas pulled out his wallet and looked through it before tucking it into his jeans he had put on a little earlier, “Yeah, I have enough for a cab.”

Dean looked completely shocked when Cas looked back at him, “I—I’m sorry… what?”

“A cab? To get home?” Cas pulled a face that was confused and tilted.

Dean grabbed the Impala’s keys before slinging Cas’s backpack over his shoulder, “Yeah… no. I’m giving you a ride.”

Twenty minutes later, Dean and Cas were sitting in front of Cas’s house. The beginnings of the sunset made Cas’s fair skin glow, almost erasing the fading scars and bruises covering his face and arms.

They had spent enough time together over the past week that Dean could easily notice the hesitation in Cas’s actions. He didn’t need to ask what was wrong, “Want me to come in with you for a minute?”

Cas couldn’t meet Dean’s eyes, “Please.” He didn’t want Dean to meet his father but he couldn’t take his father alone… not today.

Inside the house, they could hear Chuck throwing things and stomping down the stairs and when Dean first saw Chuck he felt the undeniable urge to kill him. And how Chuck looked at Cas like he was less than human, worthless, no better than the flies; it pissed Dean off to no end. What was worse was Chuck’s words. The words he spoke to his own son, “Who’s this? Your new fag?”

Cas ignored his father but Dean couldn’t, “Leave him alone.”

Chuck pushed past Dean and grabbed Cas’s wrist, “He’s my son, I deserve to know where he’s been the last week!”

And then Chuck smacked Cas and every rational thought flew out of Dean’s mind. Taking Cas from around his waist, he moved him behind his back so he was standing between Cas and his father. Dean spoke evenly but full of anger, “Cas, go pack a bag. You’re staying with me.”

Cas quickly walked to his room while Dean grabbed Chuck by his collar, pulling him close to his face, “Listen to me you disgusting piece of shit, you ever touch him again and I will kill you.”

Chuck snarled back, “You want him? Go ahead, have him. I don’t want him.”

Dean couldn’t look at him anymore, he put all of his anger into the punch that knocked out Chuck.

Cas came back out of his room with his backpack slightly more full than it was when they got there. Dean wrapped his arm around Cas’s shoulders and lead him out of that house. In the car, Cas still couldn’t make eye contact with Dean, “You don’t have to let me stay with you. If you could, just bring me to Saint Mathew’s?”

Dean looked at him with an incredulous look on his face, “Alright, you listen to me, I know I was an asshole to you but I am not going to let you stay with your fucking father and I’m sure as shit not letting you stay at the shelter. You’re going to stay with me and that’s the end of it. Got it?”

“Yes, sir.” With Cas’s answer, Dean started the Impala and started to drive home. When they got to Dean’s one-story house, Cas couldn’t help but smile at the comfortable looking couch and plaid blanket, the empty beer bottle on the coffee table, Dean’s socks all over the floor, and a half-full laundry basket on the kitchen table.

Dean seemed a little embarrassed at the state of his house, “Sorry… it’s a little messy. I don’t have people over much. Just Sammy and he’s been living in my mess his whole life, my parents live pretty far from here and Charlie but she’s even worse than I am—”

Cas placed his bag next to the couch, “It’s okay, Dean. Really, I don’t mind.”

“Well, get comfortable. I’ll grab you some more blankets and a better pillow." Dean left to grab some blankets out of his closet and a pillow off his bed. Back in the living room, Dean handed them to Cas, “Bathroom is down the hall, the kitchen is right through there, my bedroom is at the end of the hall if you need anything. I’m going to turn in for the night, remember to take your antibiotics.”

Cas gave Dean a small smile in return, “Thank you.”

That night around midnight, Dean woke up and shuffled to the kitchen to get a bottle of water. He tried to be quiet with his oversized pajamas muffling his steps but when he saw that Cas was still awake, he gave up on that plan, “Hey, it’s late… try to get some rest.”

“Yes, sir.” Dean walked past the couch and into the kitchen.

After getting a bottle of water, Dean walked back past Cas and saw, even threw in dark, that he was shaking, “Alright, come with me.”

Dean started walking back towards his room, hearing Cas get up and follow him. In his room, Dean flopped back into bed after taking a drink of water. When he looked at Cas he knew he made the right choice; Cas was standing in front of Dean’s bed, holding the pillow close to his chest, staring at Dean with those big, blue eyes. Dean couldn’t help but smile and pat the left side of his bed, “Come on, lay down.”

Cas carefully laid down on the bed and even though he and Dean didn’t touch, the comfort of having Dean close was still enough to let Cas drift off to sleep.

Dean didn’t wake up until he felt Cas shaking and murmuring in his sleep, Dean reached over and took Cas’s hand, “Shhh, you’re okay.” They both fell back into a peaceful sleep until Dean’s alarm woke him up.

The first thing he noticed was his hand still intertwined with Cas’s, the second thing he noticed was Cas’s crazy black hair sticking out of the blankets. Dean couldn’t help but smile to himself before willing himself to get out of bed and get ready for work.

Before he left, Dean gently shook Cas’s shoulder, “Morning, Cas. I’m going to the station for a little bit. Get some more sleep, there’s coffee in the kitchen and feel free to eat anything. The TV remote is next to you. Shower if you want, make yourself at home. I’ll be back in a little bit.”

Cas sleepily smiled up at Dean, “Thank you, sir.”

Just when Dean thought Cas couldn’t get any cuter, the half-asleep younger man reached out and pulled Dean’s pillow against him and drifted back off to sleep.

For the first time in a long time, Dean went to work with a smile on his face.


	8. The Communication

When he got to work, Dean was bombarded with questions about Cas. He chose not to answer most of them, he didn’t want to tell anybody anything if Cas wasn’t okay with it. The three people he did talk to were Sam, Charlie, and Bobby; Dean trusted him to be loyal to Cas and not do anything to hurt him. 

Sam came into Dean’s office around noon with food and paperwork, “Hey, Dean. How’s Cas doing? Have you talked to him?”

Dean closed his laptop and cleared a spot on his desk so Sam could put his stuff down, “Yeah, he’s um… actually at my house now.”

Sam didn’t seem too surprised by that, “Oh. Well, that’s a really nice thing for you to do.” Sam knew despite Dean’s seemingly hostile attitude, his older brother had a big heart; he just chose to hide it. 

The two brothers sat together for a while longer, eventually being joined by Bobby who helped them with the reports from the other night. Cain was in the state prison waiting for the trial to start. Of course, he was pleading not-guilty by reason of insanity… what a joke.

Towards the end of the day, Dean left early to go check on Cas; Bobby told him to make sure their intern was okay over getting paperwork done.

Back at home, Dean noticed the lights were still off and Cas was still sleeping in bed. Dean started to worry; while Cas did need rest, sixteen hours straight seemed like a bit much. Very slowly and carefully Dean shook Cas’s shoulder, “Hey, Cas?”

Despite Dean’s efforts, Cas jumped away from his hand and covered his face. It took him a minute to remember where he was, “I’m sorry, you just scared me.”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s getting late, you should eat something. Come on, I’ll cook some dinner.” Dean changed into some sweats in the bathroom but when he walked back into his bedroom, Cas was still sleeping. Dean chuckled and started to tickle Cas’s foot that was hanging out of the covers. An inhuman choked out laugh escaped Cas’s lips as he shot straight up.  
Dean stood still, a chuckle bubbling out of his chest, “You a little ticklish, Novak?”

“I—I um… yes…” Cas’s laughter was one of the most beautiful noises Dean’s ever heard, he needed to hear more. He couldn’t help himself from pulling the blankets off of Cas and jump on the bed, his hands quickly tickling Cas’s waist and armpits.

Cas squirmed under Dean’s hands and laughed so hard that tears started to form in his blue eyes, “Okay! Okay! Stop!” He desperately tried to scramble away from Dean’s hands, genuinely fearing for his bladder’s ability to control itself when Dean grabbed too hard at one spot on his stomach that was still sore. His smile quickly faded, “OW, STOP!”

Dean’s hands stopped moving but he still kept them on Cas’s waist, “Oh my god, I’m so stupid. Are you okay?” 

“Yeah, it just hurt a little.” Cas rubbed his hand over his stomach and tried to suppress his wince.

Dean moved his hands so he was leaning on the bed, “Sorry about that. Just good to see you laugh, you know? Well… hop into a shower if you want. I’ll start dinner.”

Cas finally got out of bed with shaky legs and walked to the bathroom to shower. After stripping off his shirt, the bandages were the next to go. The happiness he felt a few minutes ago quickly faded at the memories of the knife, the pain, the debilitating fear. He showered as quickly as he could so he could get his clothes back on.

When he did walk into the kitchen, the delicious smell of burgers made his mouth water. Dean gestured to the chair on the other side of the table, “Hope you like burgers.”

“Who doesn’t?” Yup, Cas was pretty perfect. Dean smiled at him and placed a burger in front of him along with two pills. Cas smiled back at him before swallowing the pills, kicking himself for not taking them earlier as the pain was starting to get worse, “Thank you, sir.”

Dean sat down across from Cas and uneasily smiled at him, “Cas, you don’t have to call me sir.”

They finished dinner in a comfortable silence and helped each other wash the dishes. They were sitting on the couch together when Dean muted the TV, “You should talk about what happened before the trial.”

“No.”

“Cas—” Dean knew that when people got on the stand taking got harder, so if he couldn’t talk about it now there is no way he’d be able to there.

“Dean, I can’t. If I talk about it, it’s real.” Cas was back to staring at his hands and already shaking. 

Dean needed to help; he grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch and moved so he was leaning against the armrest, “Come here.” Dean held out the blanket and wrapped it around Cas when he scooched over, leaning back against Dean and being held between Dean’s legs. They would both be liars if they said they didn’t enjoy being so close. Dean wrapped his arms around Cas, pulling him close, “Go ahead, whenever you’re ready.”

Cas took a deep breath and let himself relax against Dean, “When we were in the subway, he grabbed my arm and pulled me into an empty hall. He held a knife up to my throat and told me to beg for my life and I didn’t. So, he pulled out a gun and made me walk to the factory. He… stabbed me and kept cutting until I did beg him to stop. He put the knife to my throat and I thought he was going to kill me but he…” Cas’s sobs ripped through his body as he shook, his tears streamed down his cheeks and neck.

Dean gently rubbed his arm, “It’s okay, it’s just us.”

“He raped me. When he stopped, he said that the greatest torture was keeping me alive.” Cas bitterly spat out the last words, his anger stronger than his sadness.

Dean only held Cas tighter, “I won’t let anyone hurt you again.”

Cas stiffened at Dean’s words and turned around to face him, his head tilted and eyes confused. Dean started to panic so he began to babble, “Stay as long as you want or you know, you don’t have to leave at all. You’re pretty fucking awesome and talented and honestly not hard on the eyes so if you wanted to move in for a little—.”

Thankfully, Cas cut him off before he could really embarrass himself, “You don’t have to—.”

“I know… I want you to stay.” They shared a smile but Dean could help but notice the slight blush that spread over Cas’s cheeks, “Would you want to stay with me again tonight?”

Cas nodded, “Yes, please.” 

And just like the night before, Dean and Cas got comfortable in Dean’s bed but tonight, they laid facing each other when Dean said, “You know, this job has taken a lot out of me. I’m a grumpy asshole, I drink more than I should, I have more nightmares than I’d like to admit, and I take out my frustration on other people.”

Cas whispered back, “It’s okay, Dean. I’m a mess too.” After that, they easily drifted off to sleep. It wasn’t until Cas started screaming in his sleep that Dean woke up.  
Dean tried to wake Cas up “Hey, whoa. Cas, you’re okay.” but he was too far gone for that. Stupidly, Dean reached out to Cas’s arm.

Through his hyperventilation and sobs, Cas woke up and swung at whoever was trying to grab him. His fist made contact with Dean’s nose and his blood started flowing almost immediately. Dean grabbed his nose in pain and yelled, “FUCK!”

Cas scrambled to get away from Dean and ended up on the floor. He curled his legs up close to his chest and hid in the corner. 

Dean’s still bleeding but he follows the whimpers towards Cas after turning on the lamp that was sitting on his nightstand. Dean knelt in front of Cas and pushed past his constant whimper of, “I’m sorry.” Being more careful than before, Dean spoke softly, “Cas? Look at me. Who am I?”

It took Cas a minute to meet Dean’s eyes, “Dean.”

Dean offered him a small smile, “Good. Where are you?”

“Your bedroom…” Cas’s eyes slowly refocused on Dean’s face, “… you’re bleeding. I hurt you…”

Dean stood up and quickly ran to the bathroom to grab a towel. He cleaned off his face as she walked back into his bedroom, “It’s okay. You hit like a girl anyway.” The last part was said as a joke but Dean wasn’t about to tell Cas that was a lie because… goddamn, that kid had a good right hook.

Dean helped Cas up and watched as he dried his eyes, “I’m really sorry, Dean.”

“Don’t worry about it. These things happen.” But Cas still looked so sad and Dean couldn’t have that so, he held his arms out and motioned for Cas to come closer. Clearly needing a hug, Cas buried himself against Dean, tightly wrapping his arms around Dean’s muscular waist. Dean held Cas and gently rubbed his back, he couldn’t help but chuckle, “You’re a cuddler, aren’t you?”

Cas nodded against Dean’s chest and hugged him tighter, “Sorry.”

Dean laughed again and gently pulled away from Cas, “Alright, cuddly. Let’s get back to bed.” They crawled back into bed together with Cas laying on his stomach and Dean on his side. Only this time, instead of not touching, Dean kept his hand on Cas’s back.

Neither of them had any more nightmares that night.


	9. The First Kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next couple chapters are going to be longer but for right now, have some short fluff.

The next morning, Dean and Cas were sitting in front of the TV, drinking coffee and trying to wake up when Sam called Dean, “Hey, Dean. Could you and Cas come to the courthouse at two? Jody wants to meet up.”

“Sure, Sammy. Meet you there.” After Dean hung up, he turned to Cas, “The D.A wants to meet with you today. Is that okay?”

Cas seemed to get lost in his thoughts before answering, “…sure.” 

Dean could easily tell Cas was uncomfortable because he crossed his arms before answering. He tried to offer some help, “I’ll be there the whole time.”

After they both got dressed in semi-decent clothes, Dean drove them to the courthouse. The ride was peaceful with Dean drumming his hands on the steering wheel to one of his favorite Led Zeppelin songs and the summer breeze blowing in through the open windows. 

Cas couldn’t help but smile at Dean’s freckled covered skin from his cheeks all the way to his knuckles; his green eyes shined as he mouthed along to every word. The happiness Cas felt riding in the Impala with Dean was so much stronger than his fear of having to retell the events of the worst night of his life. 

When they finally got to the courthouse, Dean lead them to Jody Mills’ office. She was a kind woman and an incredibly talented District Attorney. Jody greeted both Dean and Cas with a handshake and a hug. 

Dean, Cas, Sam, and Jody all sat together at a circular wooden table with a tape recorder in the middle. Jody started asking Cas easily questions; 

“What’s your name?” 

“Castiel Novak.”

“Age?”

“Twenty-one.”

“Can you tell me what you were doing this summer?”

“I got the opportunity to intern at the Wichita homicide unit.”

“Who is your supervisor?”

“Dean Winchester.”

And then, the hard questions started;

“Can you describe your knowledge heading into the night of June seventeenth?” 

“I knew that we were looking for a suspect that had been killing people by slitting their throat and drawing a symbol on their arm that he had tattooed on his. He killed his victims after seeing them earlier in the day… after the ten o’clock purple line subway.”

“Can you describe what happened on the night of June seventeenth?”

Cas hesitated and seemed to withdraw further so Dean, who was sitting next to him, reached out under the table and took Cas’s hand in his. 

Cas tightened his grip on Dean’s strong hand until his knuckles were white. Still, he took a deep breath and answered Jody’s question;

“After seeing the suspect earlier in the day, I purposely stopped after I got off the ten o’clock subway, hoping the suspect would make himself known but he was too fast for the cameras to catch us. He pulled me into a hallway and held his knife to my throat. He told me to beg for my life… for me to beg him not to kill me and I said no. So… he pulled out a gun and forced me to walk to a factory and he st—stabbed me and m—made me… beg him and he said it wasn’t g—good enough so he… raped me and didn’t stop—.”

Cas’s sobs were heart-wrenching and it was clear nobody wanted to hear more, even though they needed to. It was Sam who said what everyone was thinking, “Let’s take a break, okay?”

Without having to hear another word, Cas pushed his chair away from the table and quickly walked out of the room. 

Dean followed him out of the room and put a steady hand on Cas’s back, leading him to the D.A’s private bathroom. Once they were inside, Dean locked the door behind them before quickly taking Cas into his arms and soothingly rubbing his back, “Shh, you’re okay. I know, I know… I’m so sorry, Cas.”

Cas clung to Dean’s black t-shirt, “I can’t—Help me, please.”

Dean pulled away from Cas only enough to then bring their lips together. The kiss was hard, closed-mouthed, and quick but it accomplished Dean’s goal of snapping Cas out of his panic. Cas’s blue eyes stared at Dean with shock and confusion. 

Dean was about to apologize when Cas grabbed the front of Dean’s shirt and pulled them together again. This time, their kiss was heated and desperate, saying things that had been left unspoken for weeks. 

Dean wasted no time wrapping his arms back around Cas and pulling their bodies flush together. Cas’s lips were warm and soft against his and everything Dean imagined they would be. It felt like he was being electrocuted and brought back to life and when Cas let out a soft moan into his mouth, every nerve on Dean’s body felt like it was on fire. 

Reluctantly, Dean pulled away from Cas, who stared at him with wide eyes, “Better?”

Cas breathlessly answered him, “Yes.”

After a few more moments of trying to catch their breaths and pull their brain cells back together, Dean and Cas walked back to Jody’s office to finish the rest of the meeting. Cas described going to the hospital and his injuries and after that, they all decided to call it a day. 

Needless to say, the car ride back to Dean’s house was silent, but not the same silence as they sat in on their way to the courthouse; this silence was slightly awkward but at the same time, full of excitement and uncertainty. 

When they finally got back to Dean’s house, they awkwardly stood by the front door unsure of what to do. Cas leaned his back against the front door and looked up at Dean through his long eyelashes, “Why did you kiss me?”

Dean stood in front of Cas awkwardly, “I thought it would help but I… wanted to.”

After taking a deep breath to try and gain some courage, Cas whispered, “Could you do it again?”

Dean smiled and took one large step towards Cas before bringing his hands to Cas’s slim hips and pulling him close. Their lips fit together easily in a slow, curious but still heated kiss. 

Cas reached up to hold one side of Dean’s neck and placed one hand on Dean’s muscular shoulder. Having Dean hold him felt safe and comfortable but also new and exciting. 

Eventually, they pulled away from each other but only enough to rest their foreheads together, Dean brought his hand up to card through Cas’s hair, “You’re so gorgeous.”

Cas blushed under Dean’s lustful gaze, “Really?”

Dean couldn’t help the loving chuckle from slipping out, “Of course you are. I wanted you since the moment I saw you. Those big blue eyes and god… just everything about you.” 

Cas’s blush spread from his cheeks, down his next, and up his ears, “My first thought when I saw you was how much I wanted you.”

“I guess we have to make up for lost time.” They both smiled and instead of Cas kissing Dean again, he tightly wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck and hugged him. Returning the sentiment, Dean held Cas around his waist. 

“Dean, I haven’t really done anything before… that happened. I don’t want to disappoint you or not be good enough.”

Not wanting to hear Cas put himself down or worry, Dean cut him off with a kiss on his cheek, “Don’t worry about that. We can go as slow as you want and I promise, you’ll only feel good. And if we start doing something and you want to stop, just say the word.”

For the rest of the night, Dean and Cas got lost in sweet kisses and warm hugs; something they both desperately craved.


	10. The Trial

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My knowledge of court is from taking one semester of mock trial in high school and watching SVU... sorry if it's not realistic! :)

“Cas… come on. It’s time to wake up.” Dean pressed a kiss to Cas’s forehead and stroked his hair back. Cas was usually grumpy in the mornings but today was the one day he really didn’t want to wake up for. Today was the first day of Cain’s trial.

Dean has already showered, made coffee, and got dressed while Cas was trying his hardest to stay asleep. Cas angrily mumbled into his pillow before blearily waking up and snuggling himself close to Dean, “I don’t want to see him.” 

Dean knew he shouldn’t and that it would just be harder for Cas to wake up but he couldn’t stop himself from wrapping his arms around Cas and holding him close. They had wasted so much time, neither of them could resist being constantly attached at the hip. 

Wanting to do anything he could to comfort Cas, Dean gladly told him their ‘plan’ again, “We are going to go in, I’ll sit right next to you and Charlie will be on your other side. Then opening statements, they’re claiming guilt by reason of insanity because his wife and child died during childbirth two months ago. Any jury is going to see right through that. Jody and Sam are going to call our witnesses first then you. Then, they have their witnesses. I’ll hold your hand the whole time.”

After another minute of coaxing, Cas finally got up to shower while Dean tried to find some of his old dress clothes that may fit Cas. Luckily, he managed to find a small white dress shirt, a jacket, and a pair of pants from when he was in high school.

When Cas was out of the shower, he got dressed in the clothes Dean had found for him. They were still a little big, which made Dean chuckle and tuck the shirt tighter into Cas’s pants, “These things fit me when I was a senior in high school. Seriously, stick around with me long enough and I promise these won’t fit you anymore.” 

Cas smiled at Dean as he tried to smooth down his hair and Dean put a plain black tie on him. After they were both dressed, Cas noticed Dean frowning at him so he frowned right back, “What?”

Dean softly smiled at him, “You look great in a suit but I have to say, I’m partial to your bedhead over it being brushed and neat.” Cas couldn’t help himself from running his fingers through his hair once just to see the bright smile that spread over Dean’s face. 

The ride to the courthouse wasn’t the comfortable silence they were used to; now it was anxious and hesitant.

When they walked up the courthouse steps, Cas froze. His breathing quickly increased and his muscles tensed until Dean put a hand on his lower back and kept ushering him towards the daunting steps, “Come on, sweetheart. I got you.”

They both took a deep breath together and continued to walk forward. When they sat down in the courtroom, as promised, Dean and Charlie sandwiched Cas in-between them and each held one of his hands. Everything is okay until they being Cain in; his muscular, tall body was dressed in orange and handcuffs. He didn’t look remorseful or anxious. He seemed fine, confident even.  
Cas tensed and squeezed both Charlie and Dean’s hands; he looked straight ahead and fought back the bile that was crawling up his stomach. When he heard Cain’s twisted laugher, Cas buried his head against Dean’s shoulder. 

Pushing back his angry thoughts, Dean tried to comfort Cas instead. Speaking softly into Cas’s ear, Dean whispered, “Listen to what I’m saying, I’m right here, I will never let him near you. Take a deep breath for me.” Feeling Cas’s shaky inhale and exhale, Dean squeezed his hand, “Good boy. Can you take another one for me?”

After a few more deep breaths, the judge came into the courtroom and started the trial. Jody gave a passionate opening statement about the lives lost and wasted at the hands of Cain. However, when the defendant’s lawyer, Fergus Crowley stood to give his opening statement, things seemed to go downhill fast. 

The short man, dressed in his usual designer suit stood and started his speech of slander, "What these ‘victims’ didn’t know, is that my client is the real victim here. The death of his wife, of their child, drove him to the understandable breaking point. And the one ‘victim’ you’ll hear from today… well, we don’t even know if it was, in fact, Mr. Manus that assaulted him. Hell, we don’t even know if he’s telling the truth!”

Dean leaned over to Cas who was staring straight ahead and whispered in his ear, “You’re doing so well, sweetheart. I know it’s hard to listen to but I’m right here.”

Jody didn’t call Cas until the end of the day. She wanted the most emotional testimony to go at the end of the day so the jurors would think about it all night. Cas took the stand and swore the oath that he would not perjure himself. The questions Jody asked him were similar to the ones she asked during their meeting. But soon, Crowley stood up to cross-examine Cas. His Scottish accent was thick and cunning, “So… internship at the station? You’re a pretty lucky guy.”

Cas tried not to let any emotion through his answer, “Guess so.”

“So, when you were asked to go in as bait, you were pretty excited?”

“I guess so.”

Crowley rolled his eyes and sighed, “Your honor, could you please instruct the witness to answer questions with yes or no.”

The female judge glanced at Cas then back to Crowley, “The witness will answer with yes or no.”

Cas nodded in acknowledgment and turned his attention back to Crowley, “Mr. Novak, you’re a homosexual, correct?”

Before Cas could answer, Judy stood up in outrage, “Objection! Relevance?”

The judge thought for a moment before answering, “Prove relevance in two questions or move on.”

Cas’s panic rose in his chest as he desperately looked at Dean who tried to give Cas a supportive smile. Cas sheepishly answered, “Yes.”

“Would you say my client is attractive?” After Crowley asked that Charlie had to grab Dean’s arm to keep him in place.

Cas looked just as angry as Dean felt, “No.”

“So, if you had the opportunity to have sex with an attractive man, you wouldn’t?” At this point, Crowley was just trying to break Cas.

Instead of crying, Cas growled back, “No.”

To everybody’s shock and horror, Cain yelled, “That’s bullshit! You were begging for it, you little slut!”

The harsh crack of the judge’s gravel filled the air, “ORDER! Mr. Crowley, I strongly recommend you control your client!”

Crowley didn’t seem like he was expecting that, if anything he was inconvenienced by Cain’s outburst, “Your honor, I’d like to request a recess for the day. I have no further questions for this witness.”

The judge gladly granted him his request, “This court is adjourned for today.”

Dean was already standing with an open arm when Cas walked up to him. Both Dean and Charlie tightly hugged him as Bobby put a comforting hand on his shoulder. Dean swiped his thumb under Cas’s eye, wiping away the tears that were on his cheeks, “What can I do to help you?”

Cas’s answer was just above a whisper, only loud enough for Dean to hear, “Take me home?”

The car ride back to Dean’s was silent. Cas clung to Dean’s hand the whole time. Dean knew Cas didn’t need to talk about his feelings, at the moment he just needed Dean to be there. Maybe he was using Dean as a security blanket but right now? Neither of them cared.

When they got back to Dean’s, they both got changed into pajamas and Cas decided to go lay down. Dean agreed that after the long day Cas had, a nap was probably a good idea. As much as Dean wanted to crawl into bed with Cas, he had some paperwork that needed to get done. Sitting at the kitchen table, Dean tried to focus on the facts of the case and not let his emotions cloud anything but writing ‘the victim’ didn’t seem right. Because Cas wasn’t ‘the victim’ he was the sleepy guy wrapped up in his bed. He was the guy who wormed his way into Dean’s heart and changed the way he saw things. He was the one who made waking up in the morning worth it. 

An hour later, his thoughts were interrupted by Sam calling him, “Hey, Sammy. What’s going on?”

His little brother was always more empathetic than him so his question wasn’t surprising, “Nothing much, just calling to see how Cas was doing.”

Dean ran a hand over his face and pushed his papers back, “He’s doing as good as you’d expect. That definitely took a lot out of him.”

“Just give him time. And just so you know, whatever is going on between you two, I totally support you.”

Dean smiled because of course Sam supported them, he’s awesome, “Thanks, Sammy. I just feel bad for him.”

What Dean didn’t know was Cas had heard that. He was standing in the hallway, walking towards the kitchen. When Dean finally saw him, he quickly said bye to Sam and hung up before walking over to Cas, “Hey, how are you feeling?”

Cas didn’t make eye contact with Dean, he stared at his bare feet and sounded almost ashamed of himself, “Are you just with me because you feel bad for me?”

“No, I want you here because I care about you and I love being around you.” Dean held Cas’s cheek, “I mean it, I want you.”

Cas gently brought his hands up to Dean’s sides and stepped close to him before softly placing a kiss on Dean’s neck. 

Dean leaned into the kiss, feeling the soft warmth of Cas’s mouth on his neck made the heat boil in his stomach. Dean let his hands travel under Cas’s cotton t-shirt and feel the smooth skin of his waist. He pressed a soft kiss onto Cas’s lips and whispered against them, “You’re so beautiful.”

Cas blushed and grabbed Dean’s t-shirt before pulling it off of him. His blue eyes traced over Dean’s torso as he smiled, “I really like your freckles.” 

Dean smiled back at Cas and pulled him back in for another kiss and very slowly took off Cas’s shirt, giving him plenty of time to stop him. When Cas didn’t stop him, Dean lightly rubbed his thumb over Cas’s nipple, eliciting a small moan from him. 

Somehow, their feet had brought them to Dean’s bedroom. Neither of them noticed until the back of Cas’s knees hit the bed. Dean carefully laid Cas down and kneeled over him, “Is this okay?”

Cas held onto Dean’s arms and nodded, “Very.” 

Dean smirked and kissed down Cas’s neck before licking over one of his nipples. When Cas’s breathy moan filled the silence, Dean sucked harder at his hardening nipple before hooking his thumbs into the waistband of Cas’s pajama pants, “Still okay?”

“Yes, just come back up here.” Cas seemed to hesitate until he could kiss Dean again. When he did, he slightly shifted his hips forward feeling their erections grind together. They both moaned into each other’s mouths at the relief. 

Dean gently gripped Cas’s ass and pulled him close. Again, Cas’s body tensed and not the good way. Dean dropped his hand and pulled away to look at Cas, “You still with me? We can stop if you want.”

“I want to keep going.” Cas kissed Dean again and gently nipped at his bottom lip. He tugged off Dean’s pants and stroked his hard cock. Surprisingly, Dean pulled Cas’s hand away, “I got it. Just relax, sweetheart.” Dean wanted Cas to focus on the pleasure and nothing else.

Dean licked his palm twice and wrapped it around both of their cocks, slowly stroking them together; precum and saliva making them slick as they rutted against each other. With every stroke Dean twisted his hand, pushing both of them closer to the edge. Even though Cas’s moans seemed like enough, Dean wanted to ask, “Are you sure this is okay?”

Breathlessly, Cas moaned back, “Yes… feel so good.” 

Dean smirked and deeply kissed Cas, “Such a good boy. So sweet… you’re perfect.” 

Cas preened at the praise and buried his face in Dean’s neck, gently nuzzling against him, “D—Dean. Please don’t stop.” Cas’s hips jerked and stilled as he came over both of them, after a few more strokes, Dean followed him with a groan, “Fuck… Cas. You’re so perfect.”

Cas showered Dean with sweet kisses and Dean couldn’t help but chuckle, “So… that was okay?”

Cas’s blue eyes shined up at Dean with happy sedated eyes, “Very okay.”


	11. The Road Trip

For two weeks, Dean and Cas sat next to each other in the scorching hot courtroom. They had to listen as Cain slandered the other victims as well as Cas but in the end, the jury found Cain guilty on all charges. 

To celebrate, Cas bought them a six pack of Dean’s favorite beer when they stopped at the grocery store. When he got back to the Impala, he was pouting. 

Dean chuckled and nudged Cas’s arm with his elbow, “What’s with the stink face?”

Cas pulled the six pack out of the grocery bag, “The cashier didn’t believe me that I was twenty one so they checked my I.D and then had the manager check it.”

Dean couldn’t help but laugh and kiss Cas’s cheek, “That’s just because you’re so pretty.” He started the engine and drove back to his house. 

That night, Dean and Cas were sitting on the couch and relaxing when Cas asked Dean’s least favorite question, “Why did you become a detective?” 

Dean answered the same way he always does, “I don’t like to talk about it.”

“Please?” 

Dean thought about everything Cas had to go through over the past two weeks and he thought about the last time he talked about it. After a deep breath, Dean started, “I was a kid. Well… I was your age actually… a year or two younger. And I saw a woman get shot by a guy who wanted her wallet. She bled out on Anderson Street at six fifty-eight on the night of September nineteenth. I still talk to her family but all my nightmares are about her blood and she begged me, Cas. She begged me to save her. I couldn’t save her. Just like I couldn’t save you and I can’t save you. I can’t stop it. It won’t stop—.”

Cas tightly wrapped his arms around Dean’s shoulders and pulled him in close, “You did everything you could. What happened wasn’t your fault.”

Dean clung to Cas and tried to steady his breathing when Cas slowly pulled away and took Dean’s stubble-covered cheeks into his hands, “And you did save me. You saved me, Dean.” 

The look in Dean’s green eyes was full of love as he smiled at Cas, “What’s something you’ve always wanted to do?”

Cas thought for a minute and lightly smiled, “I’ve always wanted to see the Grand Canyon.” 

“Let’s go then. I need a break from this goddamn job and it’ll be good for you to get out of here for a little bit.” When Dean saw Cas’s bright smile light up his face, he knew he made the right choice. 

The next morning, Dean and Cas packed a bag each before quickly stopping at Cas’s old house to pick up some other clothes “for their trip” is what Dean said but what he meant was “so you can be more comfortable at my house because I want to give you your own drawer and side of the closet”. 

By ten in the morning, they were on the road. As it turns out, driving to Arizona in the middle of August in an old car that doesn’t have A/C wasn’t the greatest idea Dean or Cas has ever had. In the middle of New Mexico, it reached almost one hundred degrees in the car. It got to the point where neither of them could take it anymore so they ended up stripping down to their boxers to drive the rest of the way until they reached a motel for the night.

Seeing Cas’s mostly naked self stretched out and dozing off to the radio next to him in the passenger seat was like a dream come true… until he saw the red and blue lights behind them. Dean groaned and hit the steering wheel, “Oh… son of a bitch!” It didn’t take him long to figure out why there was a cop behind him. Dean looked at the speedometer and saw he was going eighty-five and that definitely was not the speed limit on the two-lane highway. 

Cas was instantly awake and tense, “What do we do?!”

As he slowed down and pulled over, Dean fished out his license, registration, and badge, “Try to act like we both aren’t in our underwear?”

Cas tried to shoot Dean an unamused look but it just came out as uncontrollable giggles at how ridiculous they must look.

When the cop finally did walk up to the Impala, he got halfway through his sentence without faltering, “License and registr—what the hell are you two doing?” He pushed his sunglasses up onto the top of his head and peered into the window, giving both Dean and Cas an incredulous look.

Dean sheepishly handed the cop his information and tried to act natural. When the cop saw Dean’s badge, he groaned and handed everything back to Dean, “Detective, put some clothes on, slow down, and get the hell out of here.”

Dean wasted no time taking his papers back and reaching into the back seat to grab Cas and his clothes. By the time they had clothes on, the cop was gone, and Dean had stopped laughing but Cas was still doubled over in laughter. Dean couldn’t help but laugh again, “What’s so funny?”

Innocent little Cas reached into the backpack he had on the floor between his feet and pulled out a bag of weed, “That could have gone worse.”

Dean thought he was having a heart attack as he grabbed the plastic bag from Cas and stared at the different shades of green nugs, “Are you fucking kidding me?! When and where did you get weed?!” 

“When I grabbed my clothes, I found some in my sock drawer… are you mad?” Cas was a little nervous that Dean was going to be disgusted or upset but instead he looked like a kid on Christmas.

Dean was all bright eyes and smiles, “Mad?! Fuck, no. I love you!”

Um… whoops?

Cas blushed and looked down at his hands, whispering back to Dean, “I love you too.”

No. Not a whoops; best slip of the tongue ever.

Dean pulled Cas in for a sweet kiss, only breaking away when he couldn’t hold back his smile anymore, “Let’s grab a motel room for the night and get some dinner. We can finish the drive tomorrow.”

Cas grabbed the bag from Dean and stuffed it back in his backpack while Dean started to drive towards one of the motels in town. It was small and a little run down, which made Dean a little upset; not because he had a problem with it, he often had to stay in crappy motels when he traveled for work but Cas deserved better. He wanted to give him a big castle on a hill, full of luxury and comfort but for right now, they’ll have to make-do with the Fern Motel. 

After putting their stuff in room 5b, Dean and Cas walked to the bar across the street for a quick meal and a beer or two. They sat at a table tucked into the corner of the bar and ate a semi-decent burger. After they ate, Dean went to the bathroom while Cas went to the bar to buy another round with the couple bucks Dean gave him. While he was waiting, an older guy approached him and leaned against the bar, his words slightly slurring as he leaned in close to Cas’s face, “Hey, can I buy you a drink?”

Trying to be polite but wanting to get far away from the situation, Cas shook his head, “No, thank you.”

Much to Cas’s dismay, the balding guy took another step closer, “Oh, come on… just one?”

This time Cas ignored him; he wanted Dean to come back. The stranger grabbed his wrist and pulled Cas close against his body, “Don’t be like that, baby. Stay a while.”

The next thing Cas knew, the aggressive stranger was on the ground bleeding and the familiar protective comfort of Dean’s arm was around him. When the man tried to get up, Dean grabbed his collar and growled at him, “I strongly suggest you keep your fucking hands to yourself and walk away.”

Dean led Cas away from the bar and observing eyes before whispering to him, “Are you okay? What can I do to help?”

The anxiety and panic in Cas’s stomach were subsiding now that Dean was with him but he still wanted to get the hell out of that bar, “Can we go back to the room?”

“Of course we can. I need a shower anyway.” Dean kissed Cas’s cheek before holding the front door open for him and following him out into the street.

The air was dry but still scorching hot so less than ten minutes later when they were in their motel room, both Dean and Cas were dripping with sweat. They both started stripping off their clothes. Like a gentleman, Dean let Cas shower first, knowing it was one of his favorite things to do when he was stressed. 

After Cas got out of the shower, only in a towel wrapped around his waist, Dean had to resist the urge to pounce on him. Instead, he got into the shower, smiling at the hot water that drenched him. Even though Cas usually showered first, he never used up all the hot water. 

When Dean stepped out of the bathroom, a huge grin spread over his face; Cas was laid out on top of the motel bed’s tan comforter in his boxers with a joint hanging out of his mouth and a black lighter being spun in his slender fingers, “You’re so pretty.”

Shaking his head, Cas scooched over to make room for Dean. He flicked on the lighter and held it to the end of the joint, breathing in as he lit up. He took a long drag and held it, breathing in the smoke before exhaling and handing the thick joint to Dean. 

Dean took a slightly weaker inhale and ended up coughing a few times, “Jesus… I haven’t smoked since college.”

Cas laughed and took it back, “Neither have I.” His blue eyes shined at Dean and took another drag. Together they polished off the joint and laid next to each other, Cas’s fingers lightly tracing over Dean’s knuckles. The dizzy calmness washed over them in waves as Cas’s constantly cold toes found Dean’s warm calves. 

As Cas’s eyes started to close, Dean kissed his cheek and grabbed the light blanket from the bottom of the bed and draped it over Cas. Dean slipped off the bed and grabbed his metal flask out of his duffle bag and quietly stepped out onto the porch, leaving the door open to get a breeze into the room. The summer night was clear and warm as Dean leaned against the railing and took a sip of the strong whiskey. 

The bright moonlight shined into the room and illuminated Cas’s light skin, it streaked through his damp bed-hair and made him look gorgeous. Dean was lost in his thoughts of promises to do everything in his power to make Cas happy. He was interrupted by Cas’s deep, sleep-filled voice, “Dean? What are you doing?”

“Just thinking, sweetheart. Everything’s okay.” Dean couldn’t help but smile at Cas who was now sitting up in bed and sleepily looked for Dean. 

He could feel his heart swell in his chest when Cas laid back down and snuggled against the pillow, barely audibly murmuring, “Come back to bed.”

Dean crawled back into bed after closing the sliding door and wrapped an arm around Cas’s waist, pulling Cas back against his chest, “Sweet dreams, Cas… I love you.”

Feeling sleep taking him back, Cas could barely stay awake long enough to whisper back, “I love you more.”

The next day, they’re back on the road with only a few hours separating them and the Grand Canyon. When they did get to the national park, it was early afternoon and the perfect time for a hike. Holding hands, Dean and Cas strolled along the well-worn paths along the red rocks. Cas’s blue eyes were shining under the hot Arizona sun as he took in the breathtaking sights in front of him.

Dean smiled at him and squeezed his hand, “You happy, sweetheart?”

Cas beamed at Dean, holding onto his muscular arm and resting his head on Dean’s shoulder, “Yeah, I am. Thank you, Dean… for everything.”

Everything was calm and quiet until a rattlesnake slithered cross the dusty ground in front of them. Dean screeched and jumped backward but Cas instantly let go of his hand and decided to grab the rust-colored snake with his bare hands, “Awe… Dean, it’s so pretty!” Adding to Dean’s shock and horror, Cas kissed the top of the snakes head.

Still holding his chest and hyperventilating, Dean stared wide-eyes at Cas, “You’re insane!”

“Oh, don’t be mean. Come on, give it a kiss!” Cas started to walk over to Dean with the snake held out in front of him.

Dean got into a fighting stance and tried to sound intimidating, “Castiel Novak, if you touch me with that fucking reptile, I swear to God I will leave you out here!”

Admitting defeat, Cas carefully and slowly placed the snake back on the ground and watched as it quickly slithered away. Eventually, Dean forgave him enough to hold his hand again. What Dean learned on their little hiking trip was not only did Cas love animals but he wanted—nay, felt the overwhelming urge to pet every animal he saw.

Dean didn’t mind and even smiled at Cas trying to sneak close to rabbits, bighorn sheep, elk, and lizards. It stopped being funny when Dean turned around from taking a picture of the view to see Cas walking up to a good sized coyote. Scrambling towards Cas, who he’s convinced is crazy at this point, Dean grabbed him by the waist and picked him up, “Cas, Jesus Christ! Don’t touch the coyote!” 

In his panic and quick movements, Dean succeeded in scaring off the coyote which made Cas pout and wiggle out of Dean’s arms, “You scared it away!”

Dean couldn’t help but laugh at Cas’s grumpy face, “Because you wanted to pet something that could eat you.” When Dean’s hands started to tickle Cas’s thin sides, his frown eventually turned back into a smile again. That’s when Dean notices how red Cas’s cheeks were, he took off his baseball cap and tugged it onto Cas’s head, “Come on, let’s get out of the sun for a little.”

They decided to find a motel for the night and relax for a while before getting dinner. Dean was looking through his duffle when he felt Cas’s warm hands around his waist. Dean sighed and relaxed into Cas’s touch but tensed up again when Cas’s nimble fingers trailed down his hips and slowly undid his jeans. 

Dean turned around and started kissing Cas, his cock twitching with interest. When Cas dropped to his knees and tugged Dean’s jeans and boxers off, the first words out of Dean’s mouth were, “You don’t have to.”

Cas’s blue eyes gazed into Dean’s lust-filled one as he took Dean’s hard cock into his beautifully warm, wet mouth. Dean’s loud moan of pleasure encouraged Cas to take him deeper and swallowing around his head, “Fuck… you’re so good at that. Your mouth is so perfect.”

Cas bobbed his head, hollowing out his cheek and sucking on Dean, while his tongue teased the underside of his cock. Needing relief of his own, Cas pulled his own painfully hard cock out and quickly started to stroke himself. 

Dean softly caressed Cas’s hair and face, “You’re such a good boy.” When Cas moaned at the praise, he sent vibrations through Dean that only made the tightness in his stomach harder to push way, “Cas… I’m close. Please, don’t stop.”

When Dean grabbed Cas’s hair and tugged while he came down his throat, Cas moaned at the sweet saltiness of Dean’s cum. He thought that this is what heaven feels like as he felt his own orgasm rip through him. Cas swallowed every drop of cum and pulled off of Dean’s softening cock. 

Dean was still bracing himself against the small table when Cas stood up to kiss him, “So… that was okay?”

Dean chuckled and quickly kissed Cas, “Sweetheart, if I said that was just okay… I’d be a goddamn liar.”


	12. The First Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a couple things about consent: As somebody who has survived sexual assault I feel the need to say a few things. First, verbal consent is key, just because somebody didn't say no doesn't mean they are saying yes! Two, even if you are in a relationship consent is important. Three, anybody can say stop at any point! Lastly, if you're uncomfortable, speak up. It's okay to have boundaries and limits. Never let any anybody force you into anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. Stay safe and happy... you deserve it.

One week later, Dean and Cas were munching on Chinese food at the kitchen table when Dean nudged Cas’s shin under the table, “So, Cas, what’s next for you? You know, after this summer?” _‘Don’t go. Stay here. I’m happy with you. You make me happy. As long as you stay, I’ll support anything you want to do.’_

Finishing his mouthful of chicken lo mien, Cas shrugged, “I want to join the academy and try to find my own place… you know if you didn’t want me to stay…”

Dean gave Cas a look of shock, “Of course I want you to stay! I mean… you’re my boyfriend, right?”

Cas looked like he wanted to cry but thankfully, they were happy tears, “Best thing I’ve ever been.”

Rolling his eyes Dean threw a fortune cookie at Cas and scoffed, “Such a sap.” _‘And I love it so much.’_

Having gone through the process before, Dean helped Cas fill out the paperwork, applications, and loan applications for the six-month academy.

And then the work started. Cas wasn’t unfit by any standpoint however, he wasn’t necessarily healthy. Dean always encouraged him to eat more and sleep well but when he joined the academy, Dean started dragging him to the gym with him.

Despite all of Cas’s protests, they did end up going to the gym almost every day. Cas had two months before the academy started and by the time those two months were over, he could easily spar with Dean. Their study sessions turned into play-wrestling which turned blow jobs; it was surprising Cas ever got any studying done.

Dean didn’t mind going to the gym; he enjoyed lifting weights and exercise but one thing he absolutely despised was cardio and even more than that… yoga. Cas loved yoga. It helped him relax and stay comfortable. But anytime he tried to encourage Dean to do a little bit, it was like trying to give a cat a bath. “Cas, it hurts!” “My body doesn’t bend this way!” “I’m thirty-two, not twenty-one!” Cas easily moved from pose to pose, his newly built muscles doing nothing but helping him. Often, Dean gave up and ended up just watching Cas and smiling at how peaceful he looked.

Until one day, one month into the six-month academy, when Cas was stretching and doing an easy sequence when Dean caught a glimpse of his back which was brightly illuminated by the afternoon sun. He cringed at the memories of finding Cas on his kitchen floor and in that old factory. Dean walked over to Cas mid warrior’s pose and wrapped him up in his arms.

Cas hesitated after being interrupted but hugged Dean back, “Is everything okay?”

Dean held Cas close to him, his fingers trailing over the harsh scars on his back, “I just… I’m so sorry. I promise I’ll always protect you.”

Cas squeezed Dean back, “I know you will.” They ended up holding each other for a long time, silently saying things they didn’t have the words to say out loud.

At Cas’s police academy graduation in April, Dean was the loudest one there, cheering like an absolute moron. Everyone in the stands, including Bobby, Charlie, Sam, and Kevin, were either laughing or annoyed but Cas was bright red as he shook the commissioner’s hand and accepted his certificate. Cas only got redder when Dean stood up and yelled, “That’s my boyfriend!”

One of the detectives yelled from the other side of city hall, “We know, Winchester!”

Looking extremely unamused, the commissioner cleared his throat into the microphone, “If we could have silence so we could continue?" Then he mumbled off-handedly, "…Thank you, Detective Winchester…”

When Cas met up with Dean and their coworkers, Bobby shook his hand and handed him a job application, “If you decide to hang around, there’s a desk for you at the station.”

Cas happily shook his hand back, “Thank you, sir. I appreciate it.”

By the middle of May, Cas had his own desk that was facing Kevin’s. The two twenty-year-olds would throw things at each other and goof off until Dean, who could see Cas from his office, would text Cas and tell him to be a good boy and get his work done.

One Thursday night, Dean and Cas were lying in bed when Cas kissed Dean good night. Their kiss started slow and familiar but quickly became heated and wanting. Roaming hands became desperate and Dean ended up on top of Cas. Soon, they were both in their boxers and Dean started to rub Cas through his, before tugging down his boxers and circling a careful finger around his hole.

Dean had two fingers inside Cas when he noticed the frozen expression on Cas’s face and his tense body. He broke the unusual silence with calm words, “Cas, I need you to look at me. Do you not want this?”

When Cas finally made eye contact with Dean, his shaky voice seemed embarrassed and ashamed, “I want to stop.”

Quickly withdrawing his hands from Cas and pulling their boxers back on, Dean tried to hug Cas who was now sitting up next to him. To his dismay, Cas pulled away from him and curled up, “Please don’t touch me.”

Only wanting to help, Dean moved away a small distance, “Okay, sweetheart. I’m just going to sit next to you, alright?”

Cas’s cold reply paralyzed them, “No.”

Still, Dean stayed, “I’m not leaving you alone, Cas. Not like this.” He wanted to help and comfort Cas but he only seemed to make things worse.

“Please…” Cas’s voice wavered and broke, his eyes filling with tears as he shook, “Just go away…”

Dean started to get frustrated. He was trying to help and Cas started this… didn’t he? Why was he pushing Dean away now? It wasn’t fair. “Please just—.”

For the first time Dean’s known him, Cas raised his voice at him, “Go away!”

“Fine! You want me to leave so bad, I will!” Dean untangled himself from the blanket and left the room, slamming the bedroom door behind him. The harsh sound of the door slamming shook through the small house, cutting through the silence.

Instead of leaving to get drunk, Dean leaned against his door. Running a hand over his face, Dean’s heart ached at the sound of Cas’s sobbing. _‘HE wanted to be left alone. HE told you to go. HE wanted to be alone.’_ After contemplating for a minute Dean, groaned, “Oh… fuck this.”

Opening the bedroom door, Dean walked over to the bed and disregarded Cas’s protests, wrapping him in a tight hug. Rubbing his back, Dean tried to comfort him, “Shh, I’m here. I got you, sweetheart. Everything is okay.”

Cas clung to Dean’s bare arms, burying himself against his boyfriend, “Don’t go, Dean. I’m so sorry.”

Dean pressed a kiss to Cas’s head, “I’m not going anywhere.” For the rest of the night, Dean and Cas held each other and silently begged for the other to stay.

It took them over ten times to get anywhere with having sex but when they did, it was amazing. It started with Dean whispering a promise of safety against Cas’s lips, “I promise I’m going to take good care of you, sweetheart.” Dean made sure Cas was comfortable in bed and dimmed the light enough that their eyes were comfortable but not too dark that they couldn’t see each other.

After pressing another soft kiss to Cas’s lips Dean gently ran his thumb over Cas’s cheek, “I’m going to go really slow but if you want, just say the word and we’ll stop, okay?”

“Okay, Dean.” With Cas’s verbal consent, Dean started to slowly kiss him; both of them relaxing into the feeling.

They started with what they were familiar with, Dean slowly jerking off Cas and once he heard his low, quiet moans Dean moved between Cas’s legs and took his hard cock deep into his throat. Cas groaned and grabbed the soft sheets. After a few minutes, Dean very slowly circled a lube covered finger around Cas’s hole, circling his tongue around Cas’s leaking head to distract him.

When Cas tensed up, Dean pulled his mouth off of him so he could kiss his beautiful thighs, “You okay?”

Taking a deep breath to relax, Cas nodded and tried to focus on the pleasure, “Yes, keep going?”

“Of course, sweetheart.” Dean took a second to apply more lube to a second finger before working it into Cas and very slowly working him open. Much to Dean’s relief, Cas moaned and spread his legs further. He wanted Cas to feel good; the last thing Dean wanted was for this to be a chore or unpleasant for his boyfriend.

When Dean added a third finger, he moved back up to kiss Cas. He easily slipped in his third finger while gently capturing Cas’s soft lips in his. After another minute, Dean pulled away to look at Cas’s lust-blow eyes, “Think you’re ready?”

Cas kissed and sucked at Dean’s neck, “Yes, please.” His reply was breathy and needy as he gently scraped his nails down Dean’s back.

Dean grabbed the lube and slicked himself up before wrapping one of his arms securely around Cas’s lower back and using the other hand to hold himself up. It took every ounce of self-control Dean had to go slow as he pushed into Cas. He couldn’t help the groan that escaped him, feeling the warmth squeeze around him. Once he was fully inside Cas, he looked at his beautiful face, “You okay?” Dean started to panic when he didn’t get an answer so he made sure Cas made eye contact with him, “Sweetheart, you still with me?”

Thankfully, Cas carefully moved his hips and nodded, “Yes, Dean. Don’t stop.” Cas thought this would be painful but the feeling of Dean holding him and stretching him out with his hard cock was pure bliss.

Very slowly, Dean started to rock in and out of Cas. Lovingly kissing him, Dean whispered, “You’re so perfect… so good for me, aren’t you?”

Wanting to give Dean a better angle, Cas wrapped one of his legs around Dean as his thrusts became deeper and quicker but never rougher. When he heard Dean growl his name against his neck, Cas whimpered and started to meet Dean’s thrust; the pleasure he felt quickly pushing him closer to the edge.

Still holding Cas’s slowly tightly against his Dean couldn’t help but smirk at the cute little ‘uh uh uh’ noises that were punched out of Cas with every thrust.

Cas desperately clung to Dean’s back with one hand in his short sandy-blonde hair. When he spoke, his voice sounded absolutely wrecked in the best way, “D—Dean, I’m close…”

“Me too, sweetheart. I got you.” Dean unwrapped his arm from behind Cas and took Cas’s leaking cock into his hand, easily stroking him a few times before hearing the sweetest moan he’s ever heard and feeling Cas cover both of them with warm cum.

Dean quickly followed him, after a few more thrusts he pulled out and stroked himself twice before adding to the pools of cum that covered Cas’s stomach. Dean flopped down next to Cas as they tried to catch their breath. He reached over and took Cas’s hand, tightly squeezing it, “Are you okay?”

Cas turned his head and sleepily smiled at Dean, “Yes… I’m very okay. Thank you for taking care of me, Dean.”

Leaning over to give Cas’s cheek a kiss, Dean smiled back at him, “I always will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The smut in this chapter was kind of meh... the main point I wanted to make was the importance of consent and communication :)


	13. The Shooting

Dean’s harsh knocks on the suspect’s door were getting more impatient by the minute as he yelled, “Wichita Police. Open the door!” He turned to the officer he was with, Benny Lafitte, and rolled his eyes, “Open the door now!”

Serving warrants were one of Dean’s least favorite parts of his job. He was reminded why as the door creaked open. What happened next was too quick for either of the officers to stop it.  
The last thing Dean remembered was seeing the barrel of a handgun, excruciating pain shooting from his leg, and then darkness.

Benny jumped backward and on first instinct, kicked down the door and shot the long-haired criminal once in the back. Everything blurred together after that. Benny barely remembered picking up Dean and carrying him away from the house, laying him next to the squad car and tightly wrapping a spare t-shirt around the gushing wound on his leg. He grabbed his radio and through his panic managed to say, “10-33. Officer down. 67 Elm.”

What the dispatcher said back to him, Benny doesn’t remember. All he could focus on was holding pressure on Dean’s calf where the bullet entered. He tried to shake Dean’s shoulder to wake him up and eventually Dean’s green eyes opened as he groaned and tried to sit up, “Oh, fuck! Benny? …Benny! Tell me you got the little fuck.”

“Yeah, brother. But just relax, okay?” Benny’s large hand firmly kept Dean’s shoulders down as he heard the ambulance siren’s approaching. The E.M.Ts quickly worked to stop the bleeding and rushed Dean to the hospital.

At the station Bobby ran to Charlie’s office and tried to speak as calmly as he could, “Winchester got shot in the leg. He’s okay and already at Wesley Medical. I want you to very calmly go get Novak. I’m going to call Sam, Mary, and John.”

He left Charlie sitting wide-eyed and open-mouthed at her desk as she tried to gather herself. After taking a deep breath, Charlie grabbed her bag and walked out into the squad room, up to Cas’s desk, “Hey, Cas. Want to run an errand with me?”

He brightly smiled up at her, “Sure, Charlie.”

Charlie could barely hold her tongue long enough but as soon as they were in Charlie’s car she turned to him and tried to control her shaking voice, “Dean got shot in the leg. He’s okay but he’s at the hospital.”

Cas felt his heart stop and the bile creep up his throat as he choked out his answer, “What?”

Thankfully, Charlie reached over and held Cas’ hand as she quickly drove to the hospital, “He’ll be okay.”

Three hours and one intricate surgery later, Cas, Sam, Charlie, and Bobby were sitting around Dean’s hospital bed when the detective slowly started to wake up with a groan, “Urgg… fuck.”

Cas’s eyes snapped up to meet Dean’s, “Dean? Are you alright?”

“Cas… so loud.” Dean tried to wave his hand towards Cas but he ended up falling back asleep. Cas just leaned forward to kiss his forehead and sat back down.

They were all chatting about what happened when Mary and John walked into the room. Everyone but Cas stood up to hug Dean’s parents, when it was his turn, he politely shook their hands, “It’s so nice to finally meet you. I’m sorry it’s under these circumstances though.”

Mary sweetly smiled at him, “Well, it’s always nice to meet one of Dean’s colleagues.”

Everyone in the room gave Mary a strange look but it was Sam who stepped in, “Mom, Dad… this is Cas.”

They both returned the strange look and John smiled, “Oh! Dean’s intern, right?”

At this point, the atmosphere was uncomfortable and tense so Cas decided being direct was the best option, “Dean and I are dating… we’ve been living together for months.”

Mary and John were shocked by the news but everyone else was shocked that Dean didn’t tell them. But nobody looked as upset as Cas. Even when Mary smiled and hugged him, saying, “Oh, I’m sorry, he didn’t say anything. I’m glad you guys are happy!”

Half-heartedly, Cas hugged Mary back, “Yes well, I should go home and grab some of Dean’s stuff anyway. Let him know when he wakes up?”

Without saying much more, Cas walked out of the hospital and for the first time since the worst night of his life, he took the subway back to Dean’s house. It was filled with anxiety and horrible flashbacks that did nothing but add fuel to the pit of anxiety building in his stomach. Things were going so well… why does everything have to fall apart?

As soon as Cas was gone, Sam slapped his older brother’s foot on his injured leg causing Dean to wake up and jump, cursing under his breath, “Ow! What the fuck?!”

Sam’s face is bright red with rage, “Are you fucking kidding me?! You didn’t bother to tell mom and dad about Cas?!”

Remembering that they aren’t alone and Dean did get shot earlier that day, Sam took a moment to compose himself, “Why didn’t you tell your parents about the guy you’ve been living with and dating for eight months?”

Dean shrugged and laid back down, “Never came up.”

Still trying to stay calm, Sam took a deep breath, “Okay well, you hurt him.”

Not thinking straight from the pain medication, Dean thought nothing of it, “He’s fine, Sammy.” It wasn’t until five minutes later when Dean sat straight up with a horrified look on his face, “Oh my god. I’m horrible… fuck! I need to go see him.”

Dean tried to get up but was stopped by Bobby and John each putting a firm hand on his each of his shoulders. Mary spoke sweetly to her eldest son, “He’ll be back. He loves you, honey.”

Not having a choice, Dean laid back down but when Cas still wasn’t back two hours later he started to really panic, “Charlie, pass me my phone? It’s in my pants over there.”

After digging through the plastic bag of Dean’s belongings, Charlie handed him his phone. Dean quickly called Cas and waited for a few rings before Cas’s broken voice came over the phone, “I’ll be back soon.” He sounded teary-eyed and anxious and that sound broke Dean’s heart.

As promised, an agonizing half-hour later Cas came back into the room and Dean politely asked everybody to give them a minute. To Dean’s dismay, Cas didn’t immediately come over to hold his hand as he usually did. Instead, he nervously paced from the bed to the window. He sounded absolutely devastated, “Why didn’t you tell them?”

All Dean wanted was to wrap Cas in his arms but he was bed-bound, “Cas, sweetheart—.”

“No, Dean. I don’t want to hear you apologize or make excuses. Just answer my question.” The only sound that filled the room after Cas snapped was the steady beep of the heart monitor and the pacing of Cas’s feet.

It seemed like forever until Dean’s shy reply filled the silence, “I was scared…fuck… I’m just so damn scared of losing you. Cas… I’ve never loved anyone before and you came storming into my life and you made me love you. I was scared that if I told them then it would change things.”

Mary, John, Sam, Charlie, and Bobby, who are all listening through the door, are just shocked that Dean is being open and honest about his feelings for once.

Cas leaned on the window sill, his shoulders shaking as he silently sobbed, “I thought I lost you. I need you to listen to me—” When Cas turned around to look at Dean, Dean’s heart shattered, “— I love you. Not just right now, not because I need you, not because you saved me but because I love you. I’m not going anywhere. You don’t have to be scared that things will change. I need you to not be embarrassed by me or scared of losing me and I need you to be fucking careful because I swear to god if you get shot again, I’ll finish the job myself.”

Dean carefully listened to what Cas was saying because it was obvious that this was important to him, “I understand, Cas. I love you more than anything. Can you please come here?”

After wiping his eyes with the back of his hand, Cas walked over to Dean and stroked his freckle-covered cheek with the back of his hand before softly kissing him, “I love you, Dean.”

“I love you too, sweetheart. Will you do me a favor and grab everyone for me?” After Cas got the eavesdroppers from outside, Dean held Cas’s hand and smiled at everybody, “Mom, Dad, this is Castiel Novak. He’s my boyfriend and we live together. He makes me a better person and extremely happy. I love him very much.”

For the second time that day, Mary hugged Cas only this time, Cas happily hugged her back. Then, John firmly shook his hand, “We’re glad you’re both happy.”

They all got resettled in the room and Cas pulled the book Dean had been reading out of his bag along with his reading glasses. Dean smiled and took then, “Thanks, sweetheart.”

Sam gave Dean a funny look, “You let him see your glasses? You hate those things.”

Dean shrugged and smirked knowingly to himself. _‘I trust him. I love him. My old man glasses don’t worry me.’_

As the day started to get later, they were all reminiscing and catching up when Bobby joked, “At least you didn’t break this intern, you just fell in love with him.”

Everybody laughed except for Cas who looked completely confused, “You broke an intern?”

Dean tried to shrug it off, “We don’t talk about it.”

Charlie piped up from her chair, “No. We all talk about it… you don’t.”

That’s when Bobby started the story, “Last summer, Charlie’s intern named Garth went to the morgue with Dean and he made a mistake—.”

Throwing his hands up, Dean huffed, “He threw up on the body!”

Still, Bobby waved him off, “It was his first body, Anyway, Dean dragged him into the station by his ear and yelled at him in front of everybody. Garth cried and never came back.”

Cas laughed and lovingly stroked Dean’s hair back, “You’re such a grump.”

Dean wrapped an arm around Cas’s waist from where he was sitting on the bed and pulled him closer, “Eh… I was.”


	14. The Wedding

After the doctors were pleased with Dean’s progress and lack of infection, they decided he could go home and that’s when Cas learned how terrible of a patient Dean really was. He didn’t ask for everything, in fact, it was the opposite; he asked for nothing and insisted on getting everything himself. Glass of water? Hobbling on his crutches. Something from the Impala? Disappears for an hour. Something from his room? Crawling on all fours down the hall. Cas has yelled, “Will you stop getting up?!” more than he’s said anything else. 

One week after Dean came home, Cas had to go back to work. Only two hours into his shift, Cas got a call from Dean, “I’m bored.”

“Dean, I know you’re bored but I have five hours left of my shift. When I get home I promise I’ll occupy you.” Cas smirked after hearing Dean’s sigh of frustration. 

“Fine.” Dean hung up without another word but Cas only laughed it off, knowing Dean was joking with him.

Dean really was bored. So bored he took a huge risk and drove to the station with his left foot… the wrong foot. Eventually, he made it to the station in one piece but was unsure how long he was going to stay like that what he saw the death glare Cas gave him, “Dean! Why are you here?!”

Everyone in the squad room had the same reaction of, “Ooooh! Somebody’s in trouble!” 

Cas was walking over to Dean to simultaneously smack him upside the head and help him sit down when Charlie came bounding into the room with a huge smile lighting up her face, “Oh, Dean! I’m so glad you’re here too! I asked Dorothy to marry me and she said yes!” 

The eruption of applause and cheering was deafening as Charlie made her rounds, hugging everyone. She eventually hugged Cas and Dean and invited them out to dinner with her and her fiancé that night. 

Of course, they agreed and decided on getting burgers at one of their usual places. At seven they were all sitting around a table with burgers and a beer when Charlie smiled at Dean, “Dean, I’d love for you to be my best man.”  
His smile was big and bright, “I’d love to!”

Charlie tossed a small black box across the table to Cas, “Hold the rings for us?”

“Of course, Charlie.” 

Dean ruffled Cas’s hair and pinched his cheek, “Awe, little ring bearer.” 

Cas elbowed him in the side and glared at him but he ended up just giggling and giving up on the grumpy face. 

As they were leaving the restaurant, Dean pulled Charlie aside as Cas and Dorothy chatted about wedding decorations. “Charlie, I need your help with something…”

One year later, Dean was running around like an anxious mess. From their bedroom, he shouted to Cas, “Have you seen my tie?!”

From the laundry room, Cas yelled back, “Ironing it!”

With one small crisis averted, Dean quickly noticed another one, “Sweetheart… where are the rings?”

“In our safe!” After a long, pregnant silence Cas wearily shouted again, “Right?!”

When Dean said, “No?!” Cas ran into their bedroom with an equally panicked expression as they started to tear apart every room in the house for the small black box. A half-hour later, Cas sapped his head up and ran towards the front door. A few seconds later he yelled, “I found them! We left them by the front door so we didn’t forget them!”

“Oh my god! That was terrifying.” They finished getting dressed, both in a white shirt and a black suit. Dean was wearing a tie that was the same color green as the bridesmaid dresses while Cas had on a baby blue tie that Dean helped him pick out. Although the looks they were giving each other on the ride to the nice hotel, it was questionable whether or not the suits were going to stay on the whole time. 

The hotel was gorgeous, the ceremony was filled with white lace and light pastel colors. Dean stood in the first spot next to Charlie and Cas sat in the first row as they waited for Dorothy to walk down the aisle. When she did, Charlie started to understandably cry. It was very sweet and there wasn’t a dry eye in the room, including Cas and especially Dean. For a strong, tough, masculine detective, weddings definitely got to him. 

Bobby officiated the wedding with a proud smile. When Cas stood to give them the rings, he supportively squeezed Charlie’s hand and smiled at Dorothy. 

When the newlyweds kissed, everybody cheered, stood, and clapped. Charlie and Dorothy left to take pictures so Dean and Cas walked with everyone to the reception hall after Cas wiped off Dean’s tears. For dinner, Dean and Cas sat at the bride’s table with their parents, siblings, and the other members of the wedding party. 

Being Charlie’s best man, Dean stood up to make a speech, “Charlie, you’re my best friend. You’re a fantastic woman and I know you’ll be an amazing wife. I can’t wait for you and Dorothy to experience life together. You both deserve the best things in life and—yeah… I’m going to cry again. I know most of you from work and just because I cry at weddings, doesn’t mean I won’t kick your asses.” Everyone laughed at that, especially the many other police officers who were there. When everyone quieted down, Dean continued but not before turning to Charlie and seeing her wink at him, “I mean… I cry at every wedding, in fact…” Dean walked over to Cas and took his hand, dragging him out to the middle of the floor, “I’ll probably cry at ours.” 

The look Cas gave him was priceless. Wide shocked eyes, Cas whispered, “Oh my god. What did you just say?”

Dean reached into the pocket of his dress pants and pulled out a gold band with a small diamond in it, “Well…?”

You could hear a pin drop as Cas stood shell-shocked, “Oh my god.”

Dean started to panic because that still wasn’t a yes, “…Cas…?”

“Holy fucking shit!” 

Dean smiled at Cas’s excited face, “Is that a yes?”

Cas threw his arms around Dean’s neck and tightly hugged him, “Of course that’s a yes!” 

When Cas let go of him, Dean slid the gorgeous band onto Cas’s finger and pulled him into a loving kiss.

Everyone cheered and laughed when Charlie snuck over to them and proceeded to pop a bottle and spray them both with champagne, completely drenching them. As they laughed and hugged each other, Charlie took the microphone Dean was still holding, “When Dean came to me a year ago and told me he wanted to propose to Cas, I immediately offered for him to do it here! I want to wish them the best just as they have for us!”

Eventually, they all sat back down to finish their meal but not before taking off their wet jackets and accepting the towels Bobby threw at them. 

Sam walked over and handed them both a glass of champagne, “Better tell mom and dad about this one. Congrats big brother.” He patted Cas on the shoulder, “Welcome to the family.”

The rest of the wedding in fun and everyone ends up drinking quite a bit. Thankfully, Dean and Cas got a room and giggled the whole way up. Dean ended up picking Cas up and carrying him over his shoulder the rest of the way to the bed. 

Dean was pleasantly surprised when Cas stood up at the foot of the bed and started to strip. When Dean had a heart attack was when he saw the black lace panties Cas had on. They perfectly hugged his ass and his hard cock. Dean felt all the breath being sucked out of his chest, “Holy fuck. You better get that sexy ass over here.” 

Dean leaned forward and ran his hands down Cas’s firm sides and over his hips, “I’m one lucky son of a bitch.” He pressed a kiss on Cas’s cock, over his panties and when he heard Cas’s quiet breathy moan, Dean smirked at him, “Hands and knees, sweetheart.” 

As Cas scrambled onto the bed, Dean stood up and took off his clothes. After he grabbed the small bottle of lube from his bag, he walked back over to the bed and ran a soothing hand over Cas’s ass before pulling his panties to the side and just barely licking over Cas’s hole. After a few more teasing licks, Dean finally gave Cas what he was begging for and firmly licked him. 

Cas’s moans grew louder as Dean slowly worked his tongue into Cas. When he was wet and looser, Dean slowly pushed one finger into Cas. He groaned and greedily pushed his ass back. Dean chuckled and moved so he could put some lube on his fingers before pushing two back into Cas. He slowly started to pump his fingers in and out of his fiancé. 

When he added a third, Cas’s moans became more wrecked and desperate, “Dean, please. I’m ready… just please.”   
Dean pulled his fingers away and slicked himself up before using one hand to hold Cas’s hips up and the other to slide into him. 

Cas couldn’t help himself from arching his back and grabbing onto the soft sheets, begging Dean to go faster by rolling his hips and pushing back against Dean’s cock. 

Dean answered by grabbing a fist full of Cas’s hair and quickly snapping his hips forward, roughly thrusting into him, the reward of Cas’s beautiful moans fueling his need to go faster, “You’re so beautiful, Cas. God… look at you. So good for me, such a sweet boy.”

Every thrust pushing him both closer as they got lost in each other. It had been a little over a year since the first time they had sex and it had only gotten better. Cas got more and more comfortable with having sex; they did have some bad days but together they got through them. 

Right now though, neither of them were thinking about anything negative. Cas whined and clung to the sheets, “Dean… please, I need to cum. I need…”

“Shh, I know. I got you.” Dean reached forward and grabbed onto Cas’s leaking cock and quickly stroking him. Cas’s thighs shook with how strong his orgasm was, he desperately called out Dean’s name as he fiancé fucked him through it. 

Still hard, Dean pulled out of Cas and flipped him over, “Want it?”

Cas nodded and scooted forward and took Dean into his mouth, hungrily sucking him off. Dean grabbed Cas’s hair tight enough that he could feel it but lose enough that he could easily move his head, “You’re so good. Oh… Cas. I know you love it.” Cas hummed and tightly sucked on Dean’s heard length. When Dean came deep into Cas’s throat, Cas greedily sucked every drop out of him. 

When they were both spent, Dean laid down next to Cas and whispered in his ear, “I saw a bathtub and I know how much you’ve wanted one and this one looks big enough for both of us…”

Cas brightly smiled at him with sparkling blue eyes. Dean rolled out of bed to run a warm bath. In the bath, Dean laid down leaning against the back of the tub with Cas laying down on top of him. The water was soothing and warm. They laid together lazily tracing patterns on each other skin with their fingers until Cas started to doze off. 

Dean chuckled and carefully picked him up, wrapping him in a towel, and sitting him down on the toilet lid. Dean quickly ran out of the bathroom after wrapping himself in a towel so he could grab their boxers. He couldn’t help but laugh at Cas’s light blue boxers that had bees on them. Once they were dressed enough, Dean carried Cas back to bed. When they were both comfortably tucked into bed Dean kissed Cas’s forehead, “Sweetheart… are you still awake?”

He was answered by incoherent mumbles but that was still a yes so Dean continued, “I love you so much… you’ve changed me in ways I didn’t think were possible and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Half-asleep, Cas reached out to gently stroke Dean’s cheek, “I love you more.”


	15. The End

The early morning sunrise shone through the curtains as Cas placed his hands on his yoga mat, stretching down and pushing his hips up, easily flowing into downward dog. Over the past two years the scars, cuts, and bruises on Cas’s back had completely healed except for a few particularly bad ones but somehow, he had managed to take the best of a bad situation and use it as a reminder of strength and recovery.

Cas didn’t notice Dean’s sleepy smile and loving eyes watching him until he heard his half-asleep, “Good morning, sweetheart.” Finishing his flow, Cas flopped back down in bed next to Dean who tried to drag Cas back into the warmth, “What time is it?”

Cas kissed his stubble-covered cheek, “Time for work.” After hearing his groan, Cas patted Dean’s butt, “Sorry, babe.”

After another minute of being a grump, Dean finally got out of bed and they both got ready for their day. Dean put on his dress shirt, tie, slacks, and dress shoes while Casa dressed in his street clothes. Instead of driving to the station with Dean in the Impala, Cas pulled on his helmet and rode in front of Dean on his motorcycle. Dean was pretty skeptical about Cas buying the small bike but he wanted Cas to be happy. Anyway, he had to admit, Cas looked pretty hot on that bike.

At the station, Dean is grouchy until he successfully chugged two cups of coffee; Cas, on the other hand, was pleasantly saying good morning to their coworkers, having already exercised and drunk his coffee. Dean only smiled when Cas kissed his cheek and told him to have a good day.

Dean wrapped his arm around Cas’s waist and pulled him close, “You better be safe… I mean it, Novak.”

Cas pulled on his helmet and flipped the mask up, “I will be, I’ll see you for lunch hopefully.” While Dean was still one of the head detectives in the station, Cas had started working undercover for intelligence… and giving Dean heart attacks in the process.

Outside, Cas hopped on his bike and started off down the street, looking for the usual suspect or witness. His eye for small details hadn’t faded over the years, if anything, it’s only gotten better.

He quickly noticed one of the local teens who had some known gang affiliations. Cas quickly pulled over and took his helmet off, attaching it to the bike. He walked up to the teen with his gun tucked in his waistband, “Hey, Eric! Come here a second.”

The short but scrappy teenager grudgingly walked over to Cas, “Officer Novak, what do you want?”

“No big deal, just a few questions. You know anything about Allison McAdams?” Cas tried to keep it casual and not accusing.

Eric shrugged it off, “Not a thing.”

“Really? Because we know she hung around with you guys. Look… I’m not saying you guys had anything to do with it. All I’m saying is we have some worried parents looking for their little girl so if you could just tell me the last time you saw her, I’d appreciate it.” He noticed the shift in Eric’s demeanor and he was right when the younger man took a swing at him.

Without a second thought, Cas grabbed his wrist and skillfully twisted his arm behind his back and pinned him against the brick wall of the closest building. Pulling the pair of handcuffs out of his jacket pocket, Cas detained the boy, “Oh, Eric. Come on, you know I don’t have a problem with you. I was just asking a question. However, now… I do think you’re hiding something.”

He got on his radio he had under his zipped jacket and radioed to the station, “10-95. If somebody could come pick up a suspect. I’d appreciate it. Ninety-fifth street. Non-emergent.”

Cas released Eric’s arm and hold him to lean his back against the wall. He complied until the sirens approached; that’s when another member of the gang snuck up on Cas and punched him hard.

The shooting pain in Cas’s jaw didn’t slow him down as he tackled the other member to the ground, another teen named Marco, “Oh, really? You too?! You guys are better than this.”

Within seconds the other officer was assisting Cas getting the two guys into the back of their cruiser. Before the other officer left, Cas pulled him aside, “Let them stew for a little… separately. I’ll swing by later.”

Cas tugged his helmet back on before stopping at a diner to pick up burgers. When he got back to the squad room, Kevin was the first on to see the blossoming bruise, “Oh, shit. Dean’s going to be—”

“I’m going to be what, Tran?” Dean placed a soft hand on the back of Cas’s head, fixing his helmet hair, “What’s up, sweetheart?”

Cas cringed and turned around, the black, blue, and yellow bruise obvious on his cheek. Dean’s eyes quickly found it, “What the fuck is that? What happened? Are you alright?”

Cas rolled his eyes and kissed Dean’s cheek, handing him a burger, “I’m fine, babe.”

Dean took a deep breath, Cas wasn’t the same person he met three years ago; he was a strong, skilled detective. He didn’t need Dean to save him. While he did have the occasional nightmare which Dean helped him with, at work he was a professional. He was an officer and a detective, not an intern anymore.

Bobby interrupted Dean’s thoughts with a laugh, grabbing one of the burgers, “When are you guys getting married?”

Cas bumped Dean’s hip with his, “I don’t know… ask Dean.”

The entire squad room turned into middle schoolers, “Ooooooooo!!!”

They all laughed and enjoyed their lunch before Cas had to leave again to talk to the two kids he picked up earlier and Dean went into a meeting with the commissioner, chief, and the cities lawyers. It was a horrible, boring, torturous two hours until Dean got a text that made him choke on his coffee. It was a picture Cas sent him of his ass with a nice black plug tucked in him.  
Dean coughed a few times to cover up his shock before texting back in all caps:

D: ‘JESUS CHRIST! I’M IN A MEETING, CAS!’

C: ‘Did you like it?’

D: ‘Of course I did. Just… a little warning next time.’

C: ‘We should have some fun tonight.’

D: ‘Oh yeah? What did you have in mind?’

C: ‘I want your tongue in me so bad.’

D: ‘Oh fuck yeah. I’d love to lick your tight hole.’

C: ‘Want to ride you.’

D: ‘Fuck, I’m so hard. You need to get home. A.S.A.P.’

D: ‘I’m leaving this stupid meeting now.’

C: ‘Race you home.’

D: ‘Be safe, crazy.’

Cas beat Dean home by a minute. He was still taking off his shoes when Dean locked the front door behind him and scooped Cas up, carrying him down the hall, “You sneaky, kinky little fuck. Kicking ass, arresting people, walking around all day with that plug in you. You are too good for me.”

Cas kissed Dean and tightened his legs around Dean’s waist, “No… you’re too good for me. You treat me so well.”

When they got to their bedroom, Dean carefully dropped Cas to his feet as they started to take off each other’s clothes while trying to keep their heated kiss going.

As soon as their searching hands found each other’s warm skin, they both melted into the feeling. Dean growled and nipped at Cas’s lower lip, “Come on, tease. Show me.”

Completely naked, Cas scrambled onto the bed on his hands and knees, eagerly showing off to Dean who smirked and gently ran his hands over Cas’s round ass, “You are the most gorgeous person I’ve ever seen.” Dean carefully grabbed the plug and slowly started to pump it in and out of Cas, twisting every so often.

Pulling out the plug completely, Dean pressed a kiss onto Cas’s hole, sucking and lightly running his teeth over him. Cas was already rock hard and leaking by the time Dean had his tongue inside Cas, his stubble deliciously scratching Cas’s soft thighs. Cas couldn’t help but start to move his hips, stroking himself onto Dean’s outstretched tongue.

Cas pushed his ass back more and moaned Dean’s name, begging him to let him ride his cock. And how could Dean resist that? He quickly laid down and slicked himself up with lube before Cas positioned himself over Dean and slowly sunk down; both of them letting out a loud moan.

Dean’s hands firmly held onto Cas’s hips as Cas started to rock his hips, feeling Dean fill and stretch him. Cas’s head rocked back as he aggressively rode Dean who could do nothing but hold on, “Holy fuck, Cas. You trying to kill me?”

Cas was too lost in Dean planting his feet and thrusting up into him, trying to get some leverage back to answer Dean.

Their orgasms hit them hard, Cas painting Dean’s chest and Dean coming deep into Cas. Eventually, they managed to separate themselves and quickly clean up. As Dean laid on his back, Cas curled up against his side and drew patterns on his chest, “Hey, Dean? Could I ask you for something?”

Dean was only a little skeptical when he replied, “Of course, sweetheart.”

“I want a dog.”

Dean froze and his first response was to say no but after thinking… it might be nice to have a dog. A companion for when the other is at work, a friend after a long day, a second heater (other than Dean) to keep Cas warm at night, and they can make an animals life better by rescuing it.

Dean finally answered, “On one condition… we rescue a Pit Bull.”

Cas tightly squeezed Dean before moving up to his face and showering him with kisses. When Cas froze when Dean added one more condition, “We get married first. I needed to be your husband like yesterday.”

Two weeks later, Dean and Cas had their marriage license and certificate framed over their bed, their puppy curled up between them as they sat on the couch and cleaned their guns together, talking about their cases.

Dean smiled at Cas, who leaned over to kiss their puppies head and thought about how he changed from the scared intern he carried out of the subway to his husband and the love of his life.

Cas admired Dean’s skilled, freckled hands as they artfully put his gun back together and thought about the bitter man who changed into a big softie and showed him love and kindness.

But really, nothing changed…the truth only became known.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that was the last chapter. Thank you all for reading, I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know what you thought? Much love xxx


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